


Found Family

by AnotherWriterWhoWrites



Series: 2019 365 Days of Writing [47]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adopted Children, F/M, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Sam Winchester Has Powers, Unrelated Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:39:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 39,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWriterWhoWrites/pseuds/AnotherWriterWhoWrites
Summary: John had resigned himself to a lonely life, hunting the supernatural for the rest of his life. He never expected to find two boys on separate hunts that desperate needed a father as well as a woman enslaved by vampires that would change his life forever.





	1. Chapter 1

John tried not to think about the sleeping child in the bed just a few feet away from him, taking a deep breath and staring at the wall instead. 

He had not intended for it to happen like this, it was just another hunt that he was teaming up with another hunter for. A classic wendigo case that required a bit more than a single hunter. 

He never expected the hunter to bring his six year old child with him. 

He also never expected to even think or even have the thought enter his mind in this life or the next that the man would offer his own son to John as a payment of thanks for helping him with the hunt. 

It did take John a few moments to understand what the man was offering but once he did, he felt sick to his stomach and wanted to throw the man to the wendigo to be eaten himself. 

At that moment he knew that the other man, if he could be called that, wasn't going to leave this hunt alive. One way or another only John was going to come back from this. 

He did watch the child, Dean the man said his name was, and felt his heart twist at each and every flinch that the kid had from the simplest of movements. If anything the other man seemed to enjoy the terror that Dean was feeling every time his movements got a bit too fast or his voice raised just a bit more. 

John tried to tell himself that he isn't enjoying it but watching the wendigos body burn and then bringing his gun up and shooting the man pointblank in the middle of his forehead, he couldn't help but feel a bit satisfaction at that. 

But ultimately, that left the burden of what to do with the kid on John. he couldn't leave him, he was already in too deep by doing what he did, regardless of how much it felt like cleaning up the gene pool just a little bit.

Once John had come back to the motel where Dean had been waiting for him, and had come back alone, Dean knew that his biological father had died and despite everything, he burst into tears. 

Better the devil you knew than the devil you didn't after all. 

John had tried to comfort him and assure him, tried everything he could to make him feel better even a little bit. And later, once it was getting closer to going to sleep…

Dean had come to him, tugging at Johns clothes and whispering to him, saying that he could be a good boy, could be whatever John wanted from him, and was trying to take his own clothes off as well. 

It took everything John had not to tear up, or at the very least throw up at what Dean was insinuating, assuring Dean that there was nothing that he wanted and just for Dean to go to sleep. 

So he tucked the kid into the bed and stayed by his side until he fell asleep, leaving John to his thoughts and thinking about what he should do.

He couldn't just leave him to be taken by police and the CPS, he had no idea what kind of a foster home or adopted parents would get their hands on him and if they showed the barest hint of wanting the same thing his biological father wanted…

He wouldn't have a chance at all at life. 

Breathing out slowly he finally turned his head to look at the boy once more, feeling a pang in his chest. He was six years old, almost the same age that….

John took a deep breath and rubbed at his face for a moment before he came to a decisions. 

The next day John got them breakfast, checked them out, and drove to BObby's house. Dean was fascinated by the dog tied outside and spent his time with it while John spoke to Bobby. 

The older hunter wasn't pleased about it but once John explained everything, he was more than approving of what he had done, less so about what he wanted to do. 

“You want to adopt the kid?” Bobby repeated. “John, you’re not really the best at staying in one place and kids need some sort of grounding factor.”

“He knows me, just a bit more than the others.” John said. “Kid deserves a chance and we both know that he's not going to get it in the system.”

Bobby sighed and glanced out the window where he could see Dean wrestling with the dog, laughing softly. “You sure about this?”

John looked outside as well and felt something inside of him warm at the sight, paternal feelings that he had thought he had buried down deep resurfacing. 

“Yeah I’m sure.” he said softly.

So with a stroke of pen on paper and a signed certificate, Dean became Dean Winchester and John's son.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean slowly settled into being a Winchester and trying to get past his trauma with his first parent. 

There were still times when Dean would look at him like he expected John to just pin him down and do whatever he wanted, moments when he flinched and tried to hold himself from shaking in fear when John's voice raised when he spoke to others on the phone. 

John tried to assure and calm Dean down every time that it happened, tried to break through the years of abuse and conditioning to try to make Dean know that he was safe here and that John wasn't going to do a single thing to him. 

John didn't stop hunting so he would end up leaving Dean at their motel for the night before the terror and the guilt started to eat him alive. He wanted Dean to be safe and okay but they didn't stay at the best of motels at time, more and more now he was seeing men, monsters, out of the corner of his eyes that he needed to protect Dean from. 

He knew that Dean knew about the supernatural, and his previous guardian and now John were hunters. He knew what was out there other than the monster he had known and so…

Logically he knew the best thing that he could do was to teach Dean how to hunt and how to fight back but at the same time, he wasn't sure how to deal with it. Dean would flinch at the slightest noise and the look on his face broke John's heart every time.

Maybe he had to find a way to propyl bring it up, find a way to make sure that Dean knew that John was going to do this because he was trying to help him, not hurt him. 

John sighed and glanced at the couch where Dean was sitting, watching some sort of cartoon on the television with a look of someone that was watching something amazing for the first time. His heart twisted at the image and for a moment wished that he could give something more to Dean than what he had.

But in the end, all he had was hunting, and all he could give to Dean was himself.

“Dean.” John said, getting the child's attention onto him. He reached out for the remote and muted the show. “I gotta talk to you son.”

Dean moved enough to bring his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. “‘Bout what?”

John took a deep breath and sat down next to him, turning his body so he could look at him straight. “You know that I’m a hunter, right?”

Dean nodded. “Fight the monsters.” he said softly. “All kinds of monsters.”

“That's right.” John said. “And I don't like leaving you here,” he glanced around the motel. “And I don't like leaving you alone.”

“I don't mind.” Dean quickly said, unfolding slightly. “I’m okay being alone, its okay.”

“No its not.” John said keeping his voice leveled and calm. “Because you're a child Dean, you should not be alone.”

Deans brow furrowed slightly. “So...I gotta go to Bobby's?” he asked. 

John hesitated and then shrugged. “If you want to, you can stay with Bobby.” he said, trying to ignore how that made his own chest hurt slightly at the prospect. “Or...I can take you on hunts with me.”

Dean's eyes widened slightly and he chewed on his bottom lip. “With you?”

John nodded again. “You can help me fight monsters.” he said. “But it means that I need to show you how to fight them.”

Dean tilted his head to the side. “How?”

John glanced his bag on the table filled with his weapons. “Sometimes you need a gun, sometimes you need a knife, sometimes you need to punch them.”

“But if you don't want to,” John quickly added. “I can take you to Bobby and you'll just have to stay there for awhile until I can come back.”

“When come back?” Dean asked, his fingers moving along his arm slightly. “How long?”

John didn't want to lie about that. “I don't know.” he said truthfully. “It might take awhile before I can come back but Bobby will take care of you. He's not going to hurt you.”

Dean had an unreadable expression on his face before he moved along the couch until he could crawl into Johns lap, curling in as close as he could to John and gripping at his shirt. John wrapped his arms around him and held him close. 

“I wanna fight the monsters.” Dean mumbled, his voice distant as if he was remembering something else. “I wanna fight all the monsters.” his voice got just a bit more quieter, as if he didn't want John to hear him. “I wanna stay with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 103/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	3. Chapter 3

John knew that it was going to be hard to train Dean to make him into a hunter. There was only so much he could tell him, he had to show him and eventually use hand to hand to show Dean how to do it. 

He also should have expected how easy it was to train Dean who seemed to absorb everything John told him and held it close to him. 

A part of him knew that it was because Dean was afraid of disappointing him in anyway. He tried to reassure Dean that nothing bad was going to happen to him from John, he’d never raise a hand to him. 

But then he reached the conundrum of how to properly train Dean on how to fight and how to defend himself. He settled for explaining before and after each training that yes, sometimes he might end up accidentally, he stressed that word more than once, hurting Dean in some way but it wasn't his intention, he didn't want to hurt him, and most of all that Dean hadn't done anything bad to warrant someone hurting him. 

He wasn't sure if Dean really understood what he said but he did have a thoughtful look and despite a few times when he did get hurt during training he didn't flinch away from Johns touch and he actually started to look towards him for comfort and help.

He also started to smile a bit more and was putting on weight a bit more, starting to eat with relish and he even managed to coax a few laughs from him as well. 

Slowly Dean seemed to relax more and more around John, he still clung to him and hid behind him at times, much to the amusement of the people around them, but he also would fall asleep next to John on the bed despite there being two beds and slowly, but surely, he was starting to come more out of his shell.

Finally John felt comfortable, or maybe not comfortable but a little bit more willing, to take Dean on what he hoped was a simple hunt, a man claiming that his son was possessed by a demon.

John blinked at the cowering child and despite everything telling him he didn't have to he reached out and let some of his holy water flicker onto the boy. The boy flinched back from the water but there was no screaming, no smoke, nothing that would tell him that there was a demon possessing him. 

“I don't know where you got this from, but there's no demon.” John told him, pocketing his flask of holy water. “He's just a kid.” he looked behind him where Dean was. To his credit he hadn't hidden behind him and was standing next to him instead, shaking slightly but staying where he was. 

“That's not a kid, it's a demon.” the man spat out, his voice rough and harsh. The boy flinched hard at the voice and curled into a tighter ball from where he was sitting. Slowly John started to pick a few more things around the kid and breathed out slowly, his fingers starting to twitch.

“And what makes him a demon?” John asked, his voice remaining steady surprisingly despite the anger that was starting to rise inside of him. 

“He can do things no one else can, I’ve seen him.” the man sneered. Before John could stop him he moved forward and grabbed the boys arm hard enough for the child to cry out, and yanked him to his feet. “Show him!”

The boy was shaking hard, trying to curl in on himself as small whimpers escaped him much to the ire of his father. 

“I said show him!” the man all but roared, shaking the boy hard and John stepped forward to grab at the kid as well and get him freed from the man but stopped when the boy took a deep breath and the chair that was a few feet away from them started to float. 

“You see?” the man asked in disgust, throwing the boy to the ground hard. The boy fell and stayed on the ground, his body shaking, from fear or quiet sobs John wasn't sure. “Nothing human can do something like that.”

John breathed out slowly, reaching behind him to lightly touch Dean's shoulder. The boy didn't flinch, praise for small mercies, and looked up at him questioningly. 

John motioned with his chin towards the child on the ground and Dean immediately understood, coming forward. He shot a slightly fearful glance at the man but continued forward until he could crouch next to the boy. 

“Get your kid away from it.” the man said, eyes narrowing. “Else he might spread the evil.”

John came forward to cover the two boys, he could see from the corner of his eye Dean was slowly helping the boy up to his feet, wrapping his arms around him. “Dean, get to the car.”

Dean glanced at him one more but then nodded again, gently leading the child away. 

“Where the fuck do you-” the man started to say only to stop when John came forward and grabbed him by his neck, squeezing hard. Dean didn't look back and when the boy tried to he made sure that he didn't, bringing him out of the house instead. 

“Your kids psychic.” John told him, not really surprising himself when he saw the man choking. “And yeah most people can't do that but that doesn't make him any less human.” he tightened his grip. “In fact, the only thing that's not human that I can see here is you.”

A little bit later John came out of the house with a bag filled with things from the inside that either he could tell belonged to the kid or something that would be of use to them. There was smoke starting to grow behind him that he didn't care about. Both of the boys were in the backseat and he got into the driver's seat and got them onto the road, letting a few miles get between them and the house before he spoke. He parked the car in a small field and turned to look at the boys.

“You didn't deserve what your dad was doing to you” John said, keeping his voice soft. “And I’m not going to let you go back to him,” left unsaid was that there was nothing to go back to.

The both of them were sitting together, with the boy almost completely on Dean's lap and Deans arms around him. He looked downright terrified and John reached into his glove compartment to take out a handkerchief and used it to tenderly wipe at the tears on his face. 

“You're going to be safe now kiddo.” John murmured. “What's your name?”

“Sam.” the boy, Sam, whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m Sam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 113/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Compared to Sam, Dean was easy to start to bring out of his shell and try to incorporate him into a normal, or as normal was hunting was, kind of lifestyle.

Dean was willing and more than eager to please him and not make him angry or displeased with him in anyway. It was heartbreaking but at the same time, he managed to make it work. He was still working on the independence thing but baby steps.

Sam was...he was challenging to say the least.

He was terrified of all of them, had moments of bursts when his emotions got the better of him and as a result, well…

His telekinesis kicked in and immediately whatever was closest that he could lift was thrown at the person he was scared of at that moment.

The only person that seemed immune to this was, surprisingly but at the same time not that much, was Dean. Dean was the only one that was really ‘allowed’ to touch him and Sam clung to him tightly.

It was common for John to come upstairs where the boys were to find Sam in Dean's lap, holding onto him, while Dean rocked them both, either watching the television or reading something together. They managed to separate when they ate but then Sam would return to clinging to Dean who easily returned the favor.

Maybe it was because they were both kids and boys, but the two of them clicked together.

John wasn't about to argue, it made things a lot easier for him and Sam to talk as well. Dean stayed by his side the entire time, holding onto his hand.

Dean was also smiling a lot more, laughing too and sometimes it was enough to make Sam do the same. The sight of them laughing together made his chest warm.

“You sure about this?” Bobby asked dubiously over a shared bottle of whiskey. “Cause Dean I get but Sam...he's a handful and you don't have that much time.”

John nodded and sipped at his drink. “I found him, he's my responsibility and besides,” he glanced at the living room they were in, at all the countless priceless books and dangerous weapons and the general alcohol. “I don't think this is a great place to leave him.”

“Not to mention Dean's want to stay too.” Bobby added. “He seems more than attached to the kid.”

John couldn't help a smile at that. “Yeah, he's really attached to him.” he said. “I think it's good for the both of them.”

Bobby refilled their drinks and half drained his glass, a thoughtful look on his face. “You sure you can handle this?” he asked. “Two kids, one has powers, both traumatized.”

“Where are you going with this?” John asked, a protective feeling coursing through him.

“I’m just saying, it might be a bit too much, you don't have that much history with kids by themselves.” Bobby said, bringing his hands up innocently. “And maybe...the kids need a bit more.”

“I’m doing the best that I can.” John said, fighting the urge to snap at Bobby. He focused on his drink instead of throwing it at Bobby.

“I know you are, and I ain’t saying that you're not.” Bobby quickly said, reading the emotion growing on John's face. “And trust me, if I thought that you weren't good to them or for them I would've said something or done something before.”

“Then what are you saying?” John asked, gripping his glass a bit tighter.

“I’m just saying that maybe the kids should have a bit more, and I know you need to hunt, you need to find the demon but the kids...” he sighed. “Maybe they should be left somewhere else, with someone else.”

“No.” John said immediately. “I’m not giving them up, I’m not giving them to anyone else.”

“I’m just saying, that Pastor Jim is also a hunter and he can-”

“No.” John said firmly, eyes narrowing. “I’m not giving them to anyone else. At the very least, they know me. I’m not giving them up.”

Bobby was quiet for a moment before he sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “Alright.” he said simply. “Then you’re going to have to give yourself over to them completely, it's what a dad should do.”

“I’m trying.” John said just as quietly. “Its hard but,” he glanced towards the stairs where the boys were upstairs in their room. “I’m trying.”

Bobby nodded and then snorted, a small smile appearing on his face. John raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“The way you’ve been going, you’ve got two sons now.” Bobby said, a small laugh escaping him. “Now all you need to do is find a woman and you’ve got a wife and mom.”

John snorted at that and drained his glass. “Yeah I don't think that part is going to happen anytime soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 117/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	5. Chapter 5

He hadn’t meant to get caught on another hunt so soon, especially with both Sam and Dean with him. But Harvelle had let him know about a vampire's nest just a couple miles away from where he was staying at and well...he couldn't ignore a request from the Harvelles.

So he put Dean and Sam into a motel room, a nicer one that he usually stayed at by himself, and gave them strict instructions before he left them, leaving money for food if they needed to order something.

So he set out to find the vampires nest and get rid of it. It was a small pack, three vampires in total, and it was surprisingly easy to sneak in, light on his feet, and kill one while they slept.

It did wake the other two up and they rushed at him. He had bruises and his ribs were hurting enough that he knew that they were going to be a bitch in the morning but it wasn't anything that he couldn't ignore.

He then looked around their small warehouse, just to make sure that there were no more vampires hiding somewhere that would end up following him when he saw something against a wall.

Walking carefully closer towards it his eyes widened, there was a woman there, tied up and unconscious.

Despite himself John felt his breath get caught in his throat. Even with all the dirt and the blood on the woman he could tell that she was beautiful. Swallowing hard he tried to push those thoughts away as he walked to her and gently reached out for her, moving her head from side to side to see the multiple teeth puncture marks on her skin.

They had been feeding on her, and based on the number of marks, and how old some of them looked, they had been doing it for a long time.

With steady hands he carefully undid the chains keeping her in place, taking his lock pick out and easily breaking through it. She didn't move the entire time and more than once he had to reach out and take her wrist in hand, counting the pulse to make sure that she was still alive.

Once she was freed he moved to pick her up, frowning when she came up easily and almost weightlessly, even through the rags he could tell that her ribs were showing and he firmly pushed down whatever feelings were starting to arise.

The vampires were dead and he was going to get her help, he needed to focus on that.

It was a bit of a walk back to the impala, he didn't want the boys anywhere near this so he had to leave them at a motel room and the car parked a bit away.

John carefully put the woman into the backseat, taking care of where he was placing her to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. He grabbed a blanket from the floor of the backseat and placed it on her as well, tucking her in. 

He drove back to the motel and after glancing at the woman he honked once and the boys came out, already packed and ready. John came out and took the bags from them to put in the trunk and shook his head when Dean reached for the backseat door.

The kids scrambled into the front seat at his nod, easily sitting together. Both them in front and the unconscious woman in the back meant that John was going to need to drive really carefully until he got to Bobbys. The both of them were on their knees looking into the backseat at the woman and were whispering to one another. He got them onto the road and they drove for about twenty minutes before Dean spoke.

“Does...is this...” Dean started to ask, turning back from the passenger seat to look at the woman in the backseat. “Are we keeping her?”

“It's a bit different than you two boys.” John said, getting them on the road. “It's a lot different. She looks old enough to have other people, maybe a family of her own that’s looking for her.”

Sam was staring at the woman in question, eyes wide but unseeing. It took a few moments before he blinked and looked at John. “No.” he said quietly. “There’s no one.”

John glanced at him for a moment before looking back on the road. “What do you mean Sammy?”

Sam's hand came up to his head, brushing against the side of it. “Saw it.” he mumbled, turning to curl more into Dean's side. Dean, as always, had no problem with it and curled around Same as well. “No one.”

“You mean you saw no one or you saw something happen?” John asked, trying to keep calm. Despite everything Sam's powers did still set him on a small edge that was fading every day, hopefully it would disappear. This was something new though, most of the time Sams powers were limited to picking things up, now apparently, he could see a person's mind.

John fought the urge to think anything incriminating and tried to focus on how much he cared about the boys instead.

“Just...the vampires.” Sam said slowly, trying to find the right words to say. “For a long time, really long.” he turned and buried his face in Deans chest. “Drank.”

John breathed out slowly, not liking the picture that Sam was creating. Either she was taken young to be a blood bank for them or she was used in other ways by the vampires, either way, neither was a good outcome and therefore…

She was going to have a lot of problems once she woke up.

Dean grinned at that then, spotting a familiar look on John's face. “So does that mean we’re keeping her with us?”

Bobby looked up from his books at the knock and put it down, going to the door, one hand automatically going to the rifle that was leaning against the wall.

Opening the door he relaxed when he saw Dean standing there looking up at him, Sam at his side holding his hand.

“Back already boys?” Bobby asked with a smile as he moved enough to the side to let them in.

Dean grinned up at him, a bit of excitement on his face as he lead Sam inside. “We’re getting a mom.” he said, hopping slightly in place.

Bobby slowly looked at the kids and then up at John who was coming up the stairs. His eyes went to the unconscious woman in his arms and John steadfastly refused to look him in the eyes.

“John.” Bobby said with a bit of a groan. “I was fucking kidding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 119/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	6. Chapter 6

John got her set up in Bobby's spare room, it was the one that he usually slept in, and set up an iv into her arm. He hesitated to do anything else other than clean the bite marks on her neck and bandage them. 

He was sure that there were more marks and wounds on her he just....didn't want her to wake up in the middle of him undressing her and taking it the wrong way. 

John swallowed as he looked her over, feeling his heart skip a beat once more. He shook his head and took a deep breath, forcing himself to leave the room and close the door behind him. 

Dean and Sam were in the hallway and they looked up at him. “Is mom okay?” Dean asked. 

“Dean, she's not your mom.” John told him softly, reaching out to stroke at his head for a moment. He did the same for Sam, not moving closer when Sam flinched but then leaned into his touch. “She's just a lady we found on a hunt who’s hurt.”

Dean nodded. “And we’re going to keep her and she's going to be mom.” he said. 

John sighed softly and glanced at the door behind him. “C’mon, let's get something to eat and then we’ll talk about this.”

The boys followed him obediently, Sam still held onto Deans hand but it seemed more of a comfort thing than a security at this moment. He ignored Bobby who was staring at him as they passed and got to the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets he quickly pulled out some graham crackers for the boys and juice from the fridge. 

He waited for the two to be sitting at the table and snacking, the two were finally putting on the pounds and at least no longer ate like they were afraid he was going to take the food away from them, before he spoke. 

“I know that you boys have some...ideas about how things are.” he said slowly, watching Dean snap a cracker in half and hand one to Sam. “But it's a bit different with the lady upstairs.”

Dean blinked at that. “But...you found me, and you kept me.” he said slowly. “And Sammy too, we found him and we kept him.” Sam nodded at that, nibbling on a cracker. “And now we found the lady so we’re going to keep her.”

John sighed. “It's different,” he said trying to find the right words. “I wanted to take care of you guys and you needed me too, you’re just kids. The lady is an adult, she doesn't need someone to take care of her.”

“Yeah she does, cause she's all hurt and she needs us.” Dean tried to argue back, his voice shaking slightly at talking back at John. In response John poured more crackers onto their plate. “And Sammy said that she doesn't have anyone else.”

“But that doesn't mean that she’ll want to stay.” John pointed out, hearing Bobby move around in the other room and go upstairs. “When she wakes up she might want to leave and go somewhere else.”

Deans upper lip was trembling and he wrapped his arms around Sam who did the same, the two curling around one another. “But...she has to stay.”

Before John could say anything else Bobby came into the kitchen. 

“Sorry to interrupt but your guests awake John.” Bobby told him. “And she's...skittish.”

John glanced up at him and nodded. “We’ll talk more later boys.” he told them, reaching out to wipe at the small bit of tears on Deans face before he went back upstairs. 

John took a deep breath once he was outside of the door to steady himself before he knocked. He waited but there was no answer and then opened the door to peer inside. 

The bed was empty and the iv was taken out and thrown to the ground. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dark and he finally made out a figure pressed into the corner of the room, curled up onto herself, to make herself as small as possible. 

“Hi.” he said quietly, keeping the door open to allow a bit of light into the room. He wanted to go to her but instead he kept to the other side of the room, as far as he could be away from her.

John let out a small breath, staying away from her and trying to be as non threatening as possible. “My names John.” he offered. “And I want to help you, I want to do whatever I can to help you.”

The lady didn't move from the corner where she had curled himself up in, her eyes were withdrawn and she was staring at something at the ground. 

“What’s your name?” John asked her, keeping his voice soft. 

The lady blinked at that and looked up at him, staying quiet for a moment before she barely whispered. “Mary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 122/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	7. Chapter 7

It took a lot longer to get anything else from Mary, Bobby came up a bit later with food and water for her which she looked at like she wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. It stayed next to her on the ground and she just continued to stare ahead her at the wall. 

“What were the vampires doing to you?” John asked softly, putting his own plate to the side. 

She didn't say anything and for a moment John thought she wasn't going to answer when she quietly said, “What do you think?”

“I’m thinking a lot of things, each one worse than the other.” John said honestly. “I just...I want to help you.”

“You did the hunting thing, you killed the monster.” Mary said. “You're doing a bit too much with the human.”

“I’m being a decent human, not just a hunter.” John said. “You were all caught up in that and you didn't deserve it, I want to help you Mary.”

Mary turned away from him and stared back at the wall, falling quiet. 

There was a knock at the door and John looked up to see Bobby peek into the room. He glanced at Mary for a moment before turning to John. “I gotta talk to you about something.”

John sighed as he got up, stretching and cracking his spine back into place. “There's a bathroom right there.” he said nodding at the door. “If you want to take a shower or anything.”

When there was no answer John just nodded again and turned to follow Bobby out, closing the door behind him lightly. He gave an unamused look at Dean and Sam who were in the hallway and had either tried to listen in on them or were spying on them. 

“Don't bother her please.” John told them before he followed Bobby down. He glanced back at the boys and spotted them whispering to one another.

Shaking his head he fell into a chair and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “What a mess.” he groaned. 

“Well I’m about to add to it.” Bobby told him gesturing to the papers on his desk. “I made some calls into missing persons about her, didn't have much to work with but I think I figured out who she was.”

He reached out and took a paper from the fax machine and handed it to John. Taking it John looked at a hand drawn picture that could almost pass for Mary upstairs. “You figured out who she is?”

“Think so.” Bobby said taking another paper and looking it over. “I think her name is Mary Campbell and she's been missing since she was about four years old.”

John grimaced and let out a deep breath, putting the paper back on the desk. “Family?”

“Daughter of Samuel and Deanna Campbell, both dead.” Bobby continued reading. “Family member came over and discovered the bodies of the parents and that the daughter was missing. Strangely enough the bodies were drained of blood with bite wounds on the neck.”

“So the vampires killed her parents and took the kid as...a blood bank as she grew up?”

“Might Have also used her for other things.” Bobby added. “But we won't know unless she tells us.”

“Alright so, family.” John said trying to focus on better things. “We can call up that family member and tell them the good news.”

“Christian Campbell.” Bobby told him. “Died four years later.” he smirked at the groan that escaped from John. “Here's where it starts to get really interesting, Christian died with an open chest and a missing heart.”

John paused at that. “A werewolf?” he asked disbelievingly. “So the parents died from vampires, another family member died from a werewolf. Are they hunters?”

“Might've been, parents could have been hunters, a vampire got loose, and came back for revenge.” Bobby said tossing his papers back onto the desk as well. 

“And the kid got the shortest end of the stick.” John said glancing up towards the stairs. “So...basically...how long has she been considered missing?”

“Since 1963.” bobby told him. “So she's twenty five years old now.”

John didn't want to do the math on that but a corner of his mind told him anyway, twenty years. Twenty fucking years of being under a vampires grip. 

It was a wonder she was able to talk at all.

But it also made everything so much more worse and harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 123/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.
> 
> I did change up Marys date of birth a bit so that she hadn't been with the vampires for over thirty years.


	8. Chapter 8

John sighed heavily and glanced a bit longingly at the liquor cabinet, wishing that he could have a drink. Turning away from it he stood up and tried to figure out his next move.

He wasn't sure what to do. Mary needed his help but he didn't know even the first step to do anything. Maybe he could talk to the kids again because Dean seemed to be really on the idea that Mary was going to take the ‘mom’ role and he had to nip that in the bud.

He started small and with something that was semi familiar to him, he went to the kitchen, got a few cans of chicken soup, and started to heat it up. It was simple enough that he was sure Mary was going to be able to eat it and keep it down, he wasn't sure how long it had been since she had real food.

He watched the pot bubble as it heats up and then got everyone bowls, carefully pouring it. Grabbing a water bottle as well he placed it on a tray and slowly made his way back upstairs.

He didn't see Sam and Dean in the hallway and that worried him for a moment. He knocked on Mary’s door, like before there was no answer but he let a few moments pass before he opened the door and came inside.

Once he was inside he gave a small groan because a few feet away from Mary was Sam and Dean.

“Boys, I asked you not to bother her.” John said, making sure to keep his voice light. “She's recovering.”

Dean did look guilty when he glanced up at him but Sam was curled mostly into Deans side, face buried into his neck. “We just...we wanted to...”

John sighed and put the tray next to Mary before turning back to the boys. He reached down and picked the both of them up.

“I know what you boys want.” John said quietly to them. “And I want to be happy but not like this, this is something that I can't do and she's not the person for this.”

“But...” Dean looked lost for words, reaching for Sam's hand who gave it easily. “But...its how its happening.”

“That's just a coincidence.” John said putting the boys on the couch. He went to the kitchen to grab their bowls of soup and came back to give it to them. “She might not even want to stay here, she might want to go somewhere else or do something else. It's not fair to her to make her stay, right?”

Dean sniffed and wiped at his nose but nodded, curling in closer to Sam. “Yeah.” he whispered.

Sam was looking back upstairs towards Mary, eyes dimmed once more. He blinked and they cleared again, quietly eating his soup and leaning more into Dean.

“Did you see something Sammy?” John asked, he was slowly getting more around to the fact that Sam had powers but he also knew that it was going to be a bit longer before he was completely comfortable with it.

“Kinda.” Sam mumbled around his spoon. “Lots of...teeth.”

John breathed out slowly and nodded once more, looking back upstairs. “I’ll talk to her a bit more.” he said. “Just boys please, no more of this, alright?”

Neither of them looked happy about it but after looking at one another, nodded together, falling silent to just keep eating.

“Good, thank you.” he said reaching out to stroke at their heads before going back upstairs.

He knocked on the door again and he heard a sharp thump, like something being thrown to the ground, and when he opened the door to come inside the bowl was now empty and shaking slightly in place.

Mary was pressed hard against the wall, even tighter than before. She quickly wiped at her mouth hard before she just stopped moving.

“Its okay, I bought that for you.” John told her encouragingly. “You're allowed to eat Mary.”

Mary just turned her head away from him, turning so that she could just look at the wall instead.

John went into the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. “I already looked at the bites on your neck.” he said, keeping his voice soft. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

For a moment Mary did not move but then pushed away from the wall enough to pull her thin shirt off. All along her back and chest were a mixture of bite marks and bruises of various sizes and colors, showing their age for some of them.

John breathed out slowly and then moved close enough that he could start to put antiseptic and bandages over the bite marks.

“Can't do much for the bruises, they’ll heal on their own.” he murmured. “Do they hurt a lot? I can give you painkillers?”

Mary flinched at that and curled more into herself. “I don't want to die.” she whispered, shaking slightly.

“I’m not going to kill you.” John said quickly. “Where did you get that?”

“Painkillers.” Mary said, her voice shaking as well. “You said it yourself, killers.”

“It's not going to kill you, that's not that it does.” John told her. “They just help when you're in pain, it makes things not hurt but it doesn't hurt you, it doesn't kill you.”

He reached into the first aid and pulled out two pills, showing them to her. “This is them, I take them when I get hurt on a hunt and I want to ignore the pain, that's all they do.”

Mary looked at them and then turned away, curling more into herself and burying her face in her knees.

“You don't need to, I just wanted you to know that that's an option.” John said putting them back. He looked on her back and collarbone that was littered with bite marks, teeth wounds clear on her pale skin.

John tried to will himself not to shake as he reached out and gently touched her back, pulling back for a moment when she flinched but then placed it back, slowly cleaning the wounds and bandaging them.

Neither of them said anything, but John was sure that his heart was beating so hard in his chest that she could either hear it or feel it.

“I want to help you.” John whispered once he was done. He reached for her shirt and helped her to carefully put it back on, making a note that they should get her better clothes soon.

Mary shook her head. “I don't deserve it.” she said quietly. “You're wasting your time.” she wrapped her arms around herself. “I shouldn't be here, they're going to find me.”

“I killed the vampires.” John told her. “They're never going to find you again, they're never going to have you again.”

Mary shook her head once more. “You only got some of them.” she mumbled. “There's four more, and they’re going to come. And they're going to kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 126/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	9. Chapter 9

John stared at her for a moment before he sprinted, going back downstairs to where the boys and Bobby were. 

He was half way down the stairs when he heard the front door break open and he could hear Bobby shout out as he finally reached them. 

He didn't have time to realize what had happened, immediately diving to the desk where he knew there was a machete he could use. His hand barely wrapped around it before he was grabbed and pulled back, forcing to drop the machete to the ground as a hand wrapped around his neck.

Bobby was on the ground as well, on his knees, next to his feet was a machete that he had most likely had been holding, one hand holding onto the other where there was a broken wrist. 

He could hear Sam whimpering slightly and at that a chair was thrown at the vampire who easily batted it away. 

“Psychic, huh.” the vampire in the front mused, narrowing its eyes. “You do that again,” he nodded at the vampire holding onto John. “Daddys neck is going to be broken.” he could hear Sammy whimper once more and he could see that Dean was holding onto Sam, he had moved the both of them away from the middle of the room, pressed against the wall.

A third vampire came downstairs, gripping Mary by the back of her neck and dragging her down. “Look who I found, our resident little blood container.” she said with a laugh. 

“You're in a lot of trouble here.” the vampire said coming forward to grip at Marys chin tight enough for her to wince. “Lots of trouble, we’ve gone through a lot to keep you nice and healthy and this is how you thank us? Run off with the first hunter you see?”

The vampire tsked and grabbed at Mary, throwing her against the wall and letting her fall to the ground. She didn't fight him or move away as she crumbled to the ground, shaking slightly. 

“Now that we think about it though, you are getting rather old, your blood aint tasting as good anymore.” the vampire mused with a bit of a toothy grin. His eyes slowly moved to where the boys were, Dean holding onto Sammy tightly and Sammy doing the same. 

“Maybe we do need to go younger again, find some fresh, clean blood.” the vampire holding John agreed. He could feel it smiling and it made his blood boil. “So we don't need Mary anymore.”

“Don't you fucking dare!” John snarled at them, trying to get free, in response the vampire tightened his grip on him. “Don't you fucking dare!”

The vampire laughed, an incredibly pleased look on his face as it walked towards the boys, Dean was glowering at him but he was also shaking and holding onto Sam tightly who was silently crying in place.

There was a slide of metal against the boards of the floor and before John could look towards it Mary stood up and swung, shouting as she did. The momentum caused her to fall to the ground, the machete in her hands falling as well. 

Along with the head of the vampire she had beheaded just inches away from the boys. 

The vampire holding onto Johns grip loosened just enough momentarily for him to grasp that moment, whirling around to grab at the vampire and slam him to the ground. He grabbed his machete from the ground and brought it up on instinct and luck, bringing it down to separate his head from his neck. 

Breathing heavily John looked up at the remaining two vampires, tightened his grip on the machete as he marched towards them. 

Later once all the vampires were dead and burned, when Sam and Dean were bundled on the couch together under a single blanket clinging to one another, did John let himself relax just slightly, even accepting a finger of bourbon from Bobby and drinking it down in one swallow. 

Mary was sitting on the couch as well, staring at the ground and gripping at the blanket that Bobby put on her. She was shaking slightly and John sighed when he looked at her before sitting next to the boys. Both of them immediately climbed into his lap and he wrapped his arms around them. 

He just held onto them for a few moments before he looked up at Mary who was staring at them as well. 

“You okay?” he asked her, nodding when she nodded, gripping the blanket tighter. “Thank you for...killing that vampire, protecting the boys.”

Mary leaned back into the couch for a moment before she spoke. “I remember...the beginning of when they had me.” she said quietly. “And...it was...bad...I don't want...anyone else like that.”

“Thank you.” John said once more, just holding the boys closer to him. They readily curled closer to him and held onto him. 

Mary nodded again, turning back to stare at the ground. “What do...I do now?”

“Whatever you want.” John told her. “You’re free Mary, you can go and do whatever you want.”

Mary had a confused look on her face, tilting it as if she was trying to figure out the thoughts that were running in her head. “I want...to stay?”

“Then stay.” John said simply, smiling slightly when he felt Dean perk up a bit more at that. “You can stay as long as you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 130/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	10. Chapter 10

Mary didn't know how to read or write anything. 

Bobby had given her a book, he wasn't sure which one, but she had stared at it like she didn't know what it was. 

So that's how it found him and Mary at the table with a mess of papers and pencils around them. 

“Alright, first thing,” John said twirling a pencil in between his fingers before starting to slowly write. “M. A. R. Y. That's your name.”

Mary stared at the word, reaching out to trace the letters with her finger. “Me?”

John nodded. “You’re Mary Campbell, so. M. A. R. Y. C. A. M. P. B. E. L. L.” he wrote out. “Mary Campbell.”

Mary mouthed each part of her name, her finger following each letter. “What's...yours?”

John wrote it out, saying each letter as he wrote it. “J. O. H. N. W. I. N. C. H. E. S. T. E. R.” he nodded. “My name is John Winchester.”

“My older son is Dean Winchester. D. E. A. N. W. I. N. C. H. E. S. T. E. R.” he wrote out. “And the other one is Sam Winchester, S. A. M. W. I. N. C. H. E. S. T. E. R.”

Mary glanced towards the kitchen where Bobby and the boys were. “And...him?”

“Bobby Singer, B. O. B. B. Y. S. I. N. G. E. R.” he told her. He wrote out the alphabet for her as well, sounding each letter out for her. 

Mary stared at the letters as if she couldn't understand them, her finger still moving along them. She moved back to her name and then to Sams before she carefully picked up the pencil. 

S. A. M. C. A. M. P. B. E. L. L.

She stared at the name she shakily wrote with an almost heartbreaking expression on her face. 

John stared at her for a moment, remembering what Bobby had told him. “Your dad?” 

She nodded, her fingers coming up to trace at his name. “They...killed him.” she said slowly. “And...mom.”

Recalling the name John picked the pencil up again and wrote out, D. E. A. N. N. A. C. A. M. P. B. E. L. L. “Thats your moms name.”

Mary stared at the two names, swallowing hard. “Dead.” she whispered. “Both dead.”

John nodded. “I’m sorry.” he said quietly. “But...they’ve been dead for a long time.”

“Hunters. All hunters.” Mary whispered. “We were...hunters.”

“I think your entire family were hunters.” John told her. “There was someone named Christian as well.”

Mary shrugged at that. “Don't know.” she mumbled. “Can't remember that much.”

“Its okay, you don't have to.” John said soothingly. “Let's just focus on letters for now.”

Mary picked the pencil up again, staring at the alphabet and slowly copying it, trying to sound out each letter as well. She got most of them and John corrected her when she got one wrong. 

Movement caught his eyes and John glanced up, catching a glimpse of two heads peeking around the corner before they quickly ducked back into the kitchen. 

Mary followed his gaze and looked towards where the boys were. “What?”

“Nothing.” John said shaking his head, a fond smile on his face. “Just my sons.”

“They were...in the room.” Mary said trying to find the right words. “Before you.”

“Yeah I know, I asked them not to but,” he shrugged. “They’re persistent.”

Mary nodded and stared down at the lettres once more, falling silent.

“Mary.” John said softly. “Can I ask, what did the vampires do to you? I know they drank from you but did they do anything else?”

Mary looked up at him. “Men.” she said. “Men would...follow me and...they drink.”

Meaning that she was used as bait to bring other people for the vampires to drink. John nodded at that. “I’m sorry.”

Mary shrugged, turning back to the letters. “Not lots of men would follow so,” she gestured to her neck bites. “Me.”

John breathed out slowly and reached out to gently place his hand on her shoulder, she didn’t flinch back, instead she closed her eyes and seemed to lean into his touch instead. 

“I’m sorry that you went through that.” he said quietly. “I really am. And I want to help you, in every way that I can.”

There was another rustle from around the kitchens corner and John sighed at that. “And my boys want to help you too.”

Mary glanced at the kitchen, spotting the boys staring at the both of them once more. “What...they want?”

“Something that we can’t give to them.” John said, when he looked at them once more they ducked back away. 

Mary let out a small breath at that and turned back to the letters, copying them down once more. John leaned back to watch her, his eyes following how her lips were mouthing each letter as well as the curve of her fingers as they followed each one. 

Swallowing hard John tried to ignore his heart skipping a beat and tried to focus on helping her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 132/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	11. Chapter 11

John took a deep breath as he carried the tray of food upstairs carefully. Mary had gone back up to the bedroom and had remained there for a while, taking the papers and pencil with her. She stayed up there for a few hours and at this time, it was time for dinner and he got things ready.

He also couldn't find Sam and Dean and considering everything, that didn't bode well in the grand scheme of things. 

Reaching the door John knocked on it and waited for a moment before he opened it and came inside. “Mary, I brought dinner.”

Once inside he wasn’t surprised to see Sam and Dean in there as well. He was surprised to see that the three of them were sitting on the ground together, Dean behind Mary trying to hide something and Sam leaning against her slightly, reaching to hold onto Dean. 

“Boys, what are you doing here?” he asked tiredly, setting the tray down on the table. 

The two shared a glance and Sam shifted a bit more to get closer to Dean. “Helping.”

“Helping with what?” John aske, rubbing at his eyes. 

Dean slowly brought the object in his hand up to show a hairbrush. “We’re just brushing her hair.” he mumbled. 

John blinked and looked at Marys hair. It had been hidden under the dirt and the darkness of the rooms but he realized that it was a mess, less now that Dean had done something to it. 

“I’m sure it's appreciated boys but before you brush someone's hair you need to wash it.” John told them. “Mary you want to take a shower?”

Mary blinked at that and then glanced at the tray of food a bit longingly. 

“You can do it after you eat.” John quickly told her. “There's no schedule, I just thought you might want to get clean.”

Mary chewed on the inside of her cheek but slowly nodded, her eyes on the food. John moved to take the bowl and hand it to her with a spoon. 

Mary took the bowl, glancing at the spoon questioningly. She looked at the tray once more, it was empty now, and she turned, handing the bowl to Dean.

“You don't have to do that either.” John quickly told her, fighting a smile. “There's more for them downstairs, I didn't know they were here.”

Mary looked like she didn't’ believe him, turning to look at him suspiciously and pressed the bowl into Dean's hands a bit more. To his credit Dean glanced at John and then handed the bowl to Sam.

At this point John didn't know whether laughing was acceptable. He smiled and turned around to quickly go back downstairs and get more bowls of soup for everyone upstairs. Shaking his head he went back up, finding Dean sitting with Sam next to Mary now. 

John handed Dean the other bowl of soul and then gave Mary hers. She glanced around to make sure that everyone had food and then slowly took hers from John. 

John smiled at her and took the last bowl, sitting down on the ground with everyone. He handed out spoons to the boys and held it out to Mary who very slowly took it from him.

The boys leaned into one another as they slowly ate, murmuring to one another quietly. Mary glanced at them and then at John, eyes lingering on the spoon. 

“Do you know how to use that?” John asked, using his own spoon to gesture to hers. 

Mary shook her head, turning it around in her fingers and just staring at it. 

“Alright here, copy me.” he said, dipping it into the soup to gather some of the liquid. He then brought it up to his mouth and sipped at it. “You try.”

Mary looked down at her own spoon and placed it into the soup before trying to bring it up, her hand shaking slightly. John couldn't help but reach out to steady her grip and help her bring it to her mouth. 

“There we go.” John murmured, reaching out to wipe at a bit of soup at the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “You got it.”

Mary licked her lips and smiled at him slightly before repeating the motion, eating slowly but carefully. 

John smiled at her and leaned back a bit to focus on his own food, his eyes going to Sam and Dean who were watching the both of them. 

“You two, eat.” John told them, pointing at them with his spoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 145/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean carefully fluffed at the pillow before he laid down on it, opening his arms to let Sam burrow in close to him, as they quietly stared up at the ceiling.

“Dad said she's not mom.” Dean said quietly. “But...doesn’t it make sense for her to be mom? Dad found me and he found you and now he found her.”

Sam curled in closer to him, holding onto him tightly. “Same.” he murmured.

Dean nodded. Sam didn't speak that much, dad assured him that Sam would start to talk more in the future but for now, he knew exactly what Sam meant to say even if he didn't say it completely. And it was fine if Sam didn't want to talk, Dean would talk for the both of them. “I know. It's exactly the same.”

Sam placed a hand on his chest, a thoughtful look on his face. “Warm.”

Dean looked down at him. “Warm?” he asked as Sam nodded. “In dad or her?”

“Dad.” Sam told him, putting his head back down on Dean's chest. “Warm.”

“So dad likes her.” Dean clarified, nodding once more. “That's good, it means that she might stay longer with us. How does she feel?”

Sam shrugged, curling more into Dean's side. “Mess.”

Dean rubbed at his back, thoughtful. “Yeah I guess so.” he moved onto his side so that he could keep holding onto Sam and look at him at the same time. “Did you have a mom?”

Sam hesitated and pressed his forehead to Deans, a short blurred image of a woman flashed in his mind before it disappeared. Dean gave a small sad sound at that and pressed a kiss to the side of Sam's head. “I’m sorry.” he mumbled.

Sam nodded, reaching out to grip at Deans shirt. “Mom?”

Dean thought back, or at least tried to, and slowly nodded as well. “A long time ago, when he was nicer.” he said slowly. “There was a mom I think, she was nice.” he shrugged. “I don't know what happened but she left and then he turned bad.”

Dean was quiet for a moment, remembering a few times when he thought he had a mom. The lady he remembered was nice and he cooked a lot and sometimes he thought she sang to him but then he also remembered a lot of yelling and things being thrown around.

After that everything turned bad with the bad touching and the bad feelings and Dean moved to bury his face in Sams chest, not wanting to remember those things.

Sam curled around his head and leaned against him. He could feel his fingers curling in his hair and he pushed closer to him.

“She's gotta be our mom.” Dean mumbled, his voice muffled from being pressed into Sam. “She's gotta. Then we can all be together and stuff.”

He moved back enough to look up at his Sam who stared down at him.

“Can you see anything?” Dean asked him. Sam blinked back at him. “Sometimes you can see things, right?” Sam nodded at that. “It's who you knew that you were gonna be happy with us.” Another nod. “So can't you see anything about her being our mom?”

Sam didn't answer at that, his eyes glazing over slightly in the familiar way that Dean knew he was trying to see the future.

Sam blinked and curled more around him. “Mess.” he finally said. “Can’t.”

Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Sams waist to get the both of them a bit more comfortable. “Okay fine, we’ll wait and see.” he shifted slightly and just held onto Sam. “It’ll work out, it has to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 151/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	13. Chapter 13

Mary let out a small sound as the warm water hit her, cupping her hands under it to wash over her face as well. She looked down at the two knobs and reached out to one, turning in and shuddering when the water became hotter. 

The vampires did let her bathe, usually with a bucket of warm water and soap. They always told her that they didn't want to eat dirty food after all. When they sent her out to find someone else to bring back though she got a real shower, with stuff for her hair and everything. 

Here had everything. John had pointed out everything to her, stuff for her hair, soap for her body, even something soft to use to rub the soap in. 

It was nice here, it was really nice. It was warm and there was food and water and even a bed to sleep in. 

And ultimately her thoughts went to John again, not for the first time.

Mary started when she heard a knock at the door and John's voice from behind. 

“Mary, its me.” John told her before he opened the door slightly. She heard him place something on the sink. “I’m just leaving you some clean clothes to change into. If you want to keep your old clothes you can put them in the small hamper. If you don't then you can put them in the trash.”

Mary stared at the tiled wall, her fingers sliding over the edges where there was green. “Okay.” she said softly. 

She heard the door close once again and she turned towards it. The water was turning cold and she slowly turned it off. 

She pushed the curtain back and grabbed the towel that John pointed out to her. She glanced at her clothes, they were dirty and in all honesty reminded her too much of when she had been with the vampires so she took them and threw them into the small trash can next to the sink. 

She looked at the clothes John had left her, picking them up and looking at them. They were simply and obviously belonged to John but they were also clean so she had no problem with putting them on. As they moved onto her she could smell bits of John on them. 

Hesitating for a moment she brought the shirt up a bit more to her nose and breathed in, feeling herself relax slightly as Johns scent filled her and surrounded her. 

John was...he made her feel safe. She liked his smell and his hands, he was so gentle whenever he touched her, unlike the vampires that would always grab her roughly when they would use her. 

Even when he had helped her brush her hair he was gentle, Dean had started to work on her hair but John finished it, carefully taking out every knot and tangle despite how long it took, before she took a shower. 

He kept giving her food too and he was teaching her how to write and read everything too. He was just...so nice and she didn't understand why. She had a vague memory of hunter before and they weren't ever really that nice.

But John was different, he was nicer and he was better and Mary didn't want to lose that. She even liked the kids, they were nice too and they looked at her with such wide and odd eyes. 

She didn't know what the kids wanted from her but they did help her despite everything. When the vampires wanted to take one of them instead that brought everything to a forefront. 

She shivered slightly as she remembered everything she had suffered under them and just the thought of one of those kids, so nice and soft and already hurt she could see that, going through that...it gave her strength. It gave her strength to come forward and behead the vampire, something she’d wanted to do for years before they made sure to break it out of her. 

She looked down at her hands, remembering how the vampires broke each finger back then to make sure she couldn't hold anything. Even now they sometimes hurt at the memory. She curled them inwards and wrapped her arms around herself. 

She wasn't sure what she was going to do now, she was still learning a lot of new things, she still needed to learn how to read properly, and maybe even go outside again soon. 

The thought of John being right there, his small smile at her and his gentle touches. The thought of Sam and Dean being right there as well.

It seemed to make everything else bearable and possible.

She couldn't hold back a small smile at that and came out of the bathroom, going towards the living room to practice her reading again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 154/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	14. Chapter 14

“John, where are you planning to go with this?”

John looked up at Bobby from the papers he was filling out. “What do you mean?”

“I mean all of this.” Bobby said gesturing to the papers on the table and the identifications that John was making. “You’re putting yourself in and you’re putting yourself in deep.”

“I’m helping her.” John said straightening in his seat. “She's been considered missing for twenty years Bobby, I can’t just dump her outside of a police station and hope for the best.”

“No but you can make a call to missing persons and they’ll take care of things.” Bobby said. “Even get in contact with any biological family she has left.”

“You trying to find a right way to tell us to get out?” John asked raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Don't make me kick you out and keep the boys for myself.” Bobby warned him. “My doors always open to the Winchesters, even if they only remember my number when somethings wrong, but John.”

Bobby sighed and took his cap off, running his fingers through his thinning hair before putting it back on. “You're falling for her, and I don't know if that's a good thing.”

“I’m not falling for her, its something else.” John protested. “I’m just being a decent human being and a good person in trying to help her.”

“Okay, let's say that you’re falling for her, let's say.” Bobby added, seeing the look on John's face. “Let me just bring some things up.”

He brought his hand up and started to count on his fingers. “She's been with vampires used as bait and food for twenty years. She doesn't even know how to read or write, you've been teaching her that. You saved her from the vampires. The boys also want her as a mom.”

Bobby waited for John to nod in agreement to everything he had said and then took a swallow of his drink before continuing. “Excluding the trauma and everything she's gone through, her mindset is like a child's. She hasn't had the chance to grow up in anyway. Physically she's in her twenties, mentally she ain't grow any more from when she was first kidnapped.”

John slowly nodded again, playing with his pencil in hand. “Where are you going with this?”

“If you feel something towards her, she can't really reciprocate.” Bobby told him. “She can't really consent, she has no idea about any of this.”

John felt a pit growing in his stomach and he took a deep breath. “I wasn't going to-”

“I know, you ain't that type of a man and it's why I’m telling you this now, nip it in the bud.” Bobby said his voice softening. “Think of her like Sam and Dean, they’re all in the same basket right now. They’re all kids that’ve been hurt and abused and they do need help, and you’re doing good, you’re helping a lot, but there is a line with Mary.”

“I’m not going to...force her or try to do something to her.” John protested, the more he thought about it the more his stomach was churning. 

“I know, if I thought you were the type of man to do that you would’ve been on your ass outta here and the boys would be turned from Winchester to Singers.” Bobby said. “Even if she wants to, I don't think she’ll understand what it is she's gonna be asking.”

John swallowed hard and stared down at the papers, papers that he had been going to submit to try to get Marry her identity back. “Then what do I do?”

“You keep doing what you’re doing, you’re helping her in every single way.” Bobby said. “But try to keep from getting anything else, especially any feelings, she's not...she can't really be in a relationship.”

John sighed and reached for his own drink, taking a hard swallow of it. “I honestly didn't want….none of what happened is cause of that.” he said, trying to find the right words. “I...I don't know how I feel about her, I want to help her and I want to make sure that everything is okay with her.” he took another swallow. 

“I want her to smile, I like seeing her smile, like when she was writing her name for the first time.” he whispered. “And...its not love, it's too soon for that and I’m not a man like that, but...it could be. Maybe, in the future.”

“She needs a lot of therapy, and I ain't just saying that.” Bobby said. “The boys are a bit easier, they’re younger and a lot more able to handle and grow up and make sure they’ll alright. She's all grown up and it's a hell of a lot harder for her to be able to move past it.”

Whatever John was about to say he stopped when he heard footsteps coming closer and Mary came down the stairs, holding onto blank papers and pencils. 

“Mary.” John greeted, moving to his feet with a smile. “You ready to keep learning?”

Mary nodded and smiled back at him, moving to his side and sitting at the table. She looked over the papers he had been working on, reaching for one and recognizing her name on one of them. “What?”

“It's for you, it's something that we need to do but it can wait, it's so that people can know that you’re okay.” John said, sitting beside her once more, feeling Bobby's eyes on him. 

“Who?” Mary asked, looking at him. Her eyes were so open and unguarded, the light made the green in them shine and John tried to ignore those thoughts as he reached out and took one of the books that the boys had been reading. 

“Your family.” John said. “I’m sure you have other family, maybe a cousin or something?”

Mary's face was blank and she blinked a few times before she gave a small shrug. “I don't….know.” she said. 

“Its okay, we’ll find out.” John assured her with a smile. He ignored how he felt his stomach twist a bit and how Bobby was still staring at him. “Let's just try some more reading.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 157/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	15. Chapter 15

John rubbed at his eyes as he willed away everything that he was currently feeling, taking a deep drink of water to try to wash down the guilt as well. 

The day had been normal enough, he had helped Mary learn how to read more and more as well as Sam and Dean who had joined them. 

Thankfully they stopped asking about Mary becoming their mom but if they thought that John didn't see the looks they shared to one another they were foolish. 

Lunch had followed and then dinner, Mary was eating a bit more now but for the time being they kept her on a liquid diet with soups being the main course for her. 

The day ended with the boys watching television and that was something that Mary joined in as well, a look of amazement on her face as she watched cartoons with them. Bobby had been right, she resembled the kids so much in a lot of different ways. 

Which in turn lead to something that made no sense and if anything made him feel so guilt ridden and so dirty that he was debating to call Pastor Jim for some sort of cleansing. 

He had gone to sleep on the couch, Dean and Sam had the guest room and Mary had the room he had used so for the time being he was on the couch. What felt like minutes later he was woken up with a familiar sensation between his legs, panting as his dreams painted him a picture he couldn't deny was very pretty.

He was still human, he was still a man and in all honesty, it had been a while since he had been with anyone in his bed. Even less that he had actually had some sort of connection with a woman. 

The last woman he had really spent more time than a hunt on Ellen and already he could feel some parts of him shriveling up at the thought of her being anything other than a hunter and bartender. 

So it had to be that, anatomy and hormones, and a lack of stress relief in any way. 

He glanced around to make sure that he was alone before he pushed the blanket back and sat up, looking down to see a familiar slight bulge. Groaning he rubbed at his eyes and grabbed the empty bottle of water. 

He could either try to ignore this and try to go back to sleep, maybe even replaying the dream again. He tried to ignore the fact that there was a twitch between his legs at the thought at that. Or he could go upstairs to take a shower and either make it a cold one or one that would help him get rid of this problem another way. 

Taking a deep breath John threw the bottle out and went upstairs, hoping he wasn't going to run into anyone on his way to the shower, still trying to figure out what he was going to do once he was there. 

Unbidden his dream started to replay for him and in all honesty, it wasn't that sexual, it was more sensual than anything else. Intimate in a way he hadn't had in a long time. 

And of course, it had been Mary. Mary was in his bed, naked and sleeping, looking so at peace and so soft. He had reached out to stroke her cheek and she woke up, looking at him and smiling. 

He knew instinctively that Sam and Dean were somewhere else in the house, also sleeping, but they were safe and happy and a family. It was a warm summer morning in their home, they had all the time in the world. 

Mary had moved up to him, the blanket sliding down her shoulders to show that she was in fact naked, to kiss him. Softly, chastely, with a touch that was familiar to the both of them. Once they broke away from the kiss they lay together on the bed, her head on his chest, curled up together.

He tried not to think of the psychology of that, that he was getting hard over nothing sexual but more intimacy. He knew that he was lonely but he thought that he had enough, he had sons now that demanded his attention and he had the fulfillment of hunting had been enough. 

He thought back to what Bobby had told him yesterday, that Mary wasn't able to give consent, that mentally she was nothing more than a child and he was right, she didn't understand a lot of things and in all honesty, he was disgusted at himself for his mind to even think of painting those images of her. 

Shaking his head he turned the shower on and not even taking a moment to let it warm up he stepped into the shower, biting back a small shout when the cold water hit him. 

He had to stop this, just like Bobby had said to do, nip it in the bud before it started anything else that ended up with more guilt and more pain. 

Tilting his head back to let the water run over him John took a deep breath and tried to push everything away, tried to push the dream and just how pleasant it was and how satisfying it was and-

He groaned when he felt another twitch and let his head bang against the wall. 

This was going to be harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 164/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	16. Chapter 16

John wasn't sure if he could trust himself around Mary. 

Once he had taken his shower, making sure to keep the water cold in an attempt to wash the sensations away, he had returned to the couch and laid back down, staring up at the ceiling and waiting for sleep that obviously wasn't going to come. 

Once the sun started to rise John had gotten off of the couch and changed clothes, deciding to take a quick run to try to clear his thoughts. 

When he came back the sun had risen completely and surprisingly Mary was on the porch, staring at the sky with a look of wonder on her face. She also brightened when she saw him as well, smiling up at him. 

John remembered how she smiled in his dream and quickly banished the thought, managing a smile back at her. 

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked her, coming onto the porch, a little out of breath from the run. 

Mary turned back towards the sun, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment as she seemed to savor the warmth. “I wanted...to see the sun.” she said softly. “I...when they let me out. It was always at night.”

John nodded, feeling a pang in his chest at that. After a moments thought he sat down on the porch as well, making sure to keep some distance from her as he looked at the sky as well. 

“How are you feeling?” John asked her, looking at her for a moment before looking away. 

“Fine.” Mary said simply. “There's food and theres a shower and there's you. Its fine.”

John tried not to think about what that last part meant, about him being here, and pushed it out of his mind. “Good, I’m glad.”

Mary nodded and from the corner of his eye he could see she was stretching slightly. 

She glanced at him and then moved a bit closer to him. John held his breath and tried to focus on the way that the sky was starting to light up more and more. He barely held back a jump when Mary placed her head on his shoulder. 

“Warm.” she mumbled. “You’re really warm.”

“I just came back from a run, I think it's from that.” he managed to get out. 

Mary shook her head, taking care not to move away from him. “Always warm.” she mumbled. “I like it.”

Slowly John breathed out. He should move her away, he should move away from her, he should do something to try to create a distance between them. He had to nip this in the bud and stop it before anything else happened. 

John's arm came up and wrapped around her shoulders, just holding her and savoring her for as long as he could. 

Swallowing hard John stared straight ahead, his arm around her and feeling his chest tighten a bit more. 

“You're warm too.” John managed to get out. He could feel Mary looked up at him but she didn't say anything, just turning her head to look at the sky once more. “I like it too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 168/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	17. Chapter 17

Ever since that morning that Mary had one hundred percent learned that touching another person doesn't have to end in pain something simultaneously amazing and horrible happened. 

Mary decided she wanted to be touching someone all the time. She reached for their hands, leaned against their sides, held onto them as tightly as she could. Sam and Dean eagerly accepted and reciprocated her touches almost always climbing into her lap for some sort of cuddles. 

There wasn't a single moment that Mary didn't want to be touching someone, smiling the entire time and lighting up as if she had been given the entire world. 

Which is why John found it incredibly hard to say no to her. She clung to him almost as much as the kids clung to her and the one time he did manage to say no and pulled away from her, the look of despair that shot over her face made him feel as if he had taken his gun and shot her in the chest. 

She might've actually looked less in pain if he had done that and he quickly apologized and wrapped her in a tight hug which she easily melted into.

He tried to ignore Bobby's gaze on him every time he and Mary were touching in one way or another. He managed to avoid another talk with him about Mary and it oddly felt like he was hiding something from his parents and that was a thought he needed to get rid of just as fast. 

Everything changed from that point. Every lesson they had together was with Mary pressing into his side as much as she could. Her body was pressed against his side and he could feel every last bit of her and-

It lead to a lot more nights where he wasn't able to sleep due to his dreams making things a bit too pleasant. 

One night when he refused to let himself sleep he went upstairs to check on the boys, standing in the doorway and trying to ignore how his heart attack was growing when he saw that the bed was empty. 

After a moment he immediately dashed to Mary's room, hoping that they were going to be there. 

The relief he felt when he saw them on Mary's bed was enough to make his legs buckle and almost fell onto the ground, gripping the wall for support.

The three of them were on the bed, Mary was curled into them and had her arm over the boys who were curled towards her in turn. As John watched, his heart slowly returning to normal, his chest tightened with a new feeling and for a moment he felt like he couldn't breathe, watching the three of them sleeping on the bed together. 

Sammy shifted slightly and his eyes opened, looking up at him. His hands rubbed at his eyes and he slowly sat up, taking care not to wake Dean up. "Daddy?" he whispered. 

"Hey buddy." John whispered, coming into the room and reaching to stroke over Sammy's head. "Go back to sleep, its fine."

Sammy reached up to grip at his hand, tugging him a bit. "Sleep." he whispered, eyes already closing again. "Sleep."

"I'll sleep downstairs, its okay." John told him, holding onto Sammy's hand. 

Sam shook his head, laying back down on the bed and still tugging at John's hand. "Sleep." he mumbled. 

John breathed out slowly, moving Sammy a bit more until he could sit on the edge of the bed, leaning against the headboard. "Okay." he whispered. "I'll sleep here."

Sammy still wasn't pleased with that, tugging incessantly at John's hand until John moved for him, laying down on the bed next to him, his arm over the boys as well just like Mary. Only then did Sammy settle again. 

"Night." Sammy mumbled, already easily falling back asleep. 

John swallowed the lump in his throat, hating how right this felt and how good it felt to have the four of them sleeping together like this. "Good night Sammy." he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 172/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	18. Chapter 18

John went to town to give back a little bit back to Bobby by stocking up his cabinets and refrigerator with as much food as he could. It took a lot to feed the five of them despite the boys and Mary not eating that much. 

Dean came along with him and surprisingly without Sammy, who was staying behind to be with Mary and work on their reading skills together. 

He debated to take them to the library as well but the thought of them being out and social with others, the anxiety that would give to all four of them, wasn’t worth it. He’d swing by a used bookstore to get them more books instead. 

It was nice to get out of the house and go into town, especially since he had Dean with him who was just as eager to look around the town as best as he could. 

"You sure Sammys gonna be okay?" he asked for what seemed the thousandth time, fidgeting slightly in place. 

John handed him a bag of apples to put into the cart. "He's going to be fine, he's with Bobby and Mary."

Dean didn't look convinced but nodded, carefully putting the apples into the cart and looking at their haul. "Okay." he said, reaching into it and fixing one of the boxes that had fallen onto their side. 

John nodded and started to push it down the aisle, picking more fruits for them. Ever since he had gotten the boys he'd added more fruits to his diet to make sure that they did too. They copied everything that he did so in result he was trying to be more healthy. 

"You and Sammy been sleeping in Mary's bed lately." John said, glancing down at him. "How long is that been going on?"

"Couple nights." Dean said, his eyes lingering on some of the cereals. "It's really nice." he looked up at John a bit shyly. "You were there last night."

"I went to check on you guys and you weren't in your room, I got a bit worried." John said dryly. "If you're not going to be in your room please tell me."

Dean nodded, his hands twisting at the end of his shirt. "Sorry." he quickly said. "It was just really nice and Sammy likes it there too, he says that it's really warm."

"It's always going to be warm when you're in the same bed as someone else." John said, grabbing a carton of blueberries and added it. "Might get a bit unbearable in the summer."

Dean shook his head. "Not like that." he mumbled, twisting his shirt between his fingers. "Warm like..." he thought for a moment and then tapped at his chest. "Warm here."

"Dean," John said with a sigh. "I don't think that..." he wanted to say that he didn't think that the boys should get used to her, as soon as she was comfortable with it he was going to take her to the proper authorities and find her real family. 

He firmly ignored how much his chest tightened and his heart twisted, for a moment he thought he was having a miniature heart attack and he had to focus and breathe through it. 

Dean looked up at him, his eyes were wide and open, vulnerable and John noticed that his hands were shaking slightly as he gripped at his shirt. "You don't think that what?"

John hesitated and then shook his head. "Nothing, not important." he said. "You said it's warm in your chest?"

Dean nodded at that, looking back at the fruits and pointing at the watermelon. "Really warm. And it's really easy to go to sleep." he said. "Sammy said that it's really warm here too." he pointed at his head. "Cause Sammy sees things a lot different."

"He's special like that." John agreed. "Anything else?"

"It was really extra warm in the morning, when you were there too." Dean added, a touch hopefully. "Sammy said that it was so warm he didn't wanna leave the bed."

"I don't think that's going to happen again buddy." John said, a touch apologetically, going to the vegetables. 

Dean looked crestfallen at that, his lower lip shaking slightly. "Why?" he asked, his voice cracking. 

"It's not right for...a man and a woman to sleep in the same bed like that." John said, grasping for the right words. "When they don't already have a relationship of some kind."

"But you do." Dean insisted, reaching up to tug at John's hand. "You have a relationship, Sammy said so."

John reached to grasp at Deans hand, rubbing his thumb over it. "What do you mean?"

"It's the warm fuzzy feeling." Dean said, his other arm coming up to wipe at his eyes. "Its your chest. Its the same for you and mo-Mary."

John ignored the slip of the tongue. "What warm fuzzy feeling in our chests?" he asked. 

"Its..." Deans forehead scrunched as he tried to think of the right words. "Sammy told me. Its the warm fuzzy feelings in your chest and it's the same and," he took a deep breath. "It's the same like me and Sammy too, and it's a really good feeling. And Sammy said that-" Dean stopped talking at that, shaking his head. 

"Sammy said that what?" John asked gently.

In an answer Dean shook his head. "Not supposed to tell." he mumbled, fear shooting over his face for a moment before it disappeared. "Secret, with me and Sammy." he glanced up at John and then looked away quickly. 

"I'm not mad at you." John told him, knowing immediately where Deans thoughts were going and wanted to stop that right in its place. "I'm happy that you and Sammy are so close, that you can keep each other's secrets. But I need to know, is it something bad?"

Dean hesitated and then shook his head. "It's good." he whispered. "Really good."

John breathed out and tried to think of what Sammy might've known that was something good and came up with more than a few ideas. "Okay."

Dean stared at him for a moment and then relaxed, pressing his side again and taking John's hand in his. "It's good." he whispered. "It is. It has to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 173/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	19. Chapter 19

There was a noise of a movie playing on the television in the living room and John really wasn't sure who was going to be up at this time. 

He glanced at his watch on his wrist, shaking his head. It was past midnight and the whole house had been asleep, minus him. He had been taken to avoid sleeping lately due to his dreams that were happening more and more. 

Coffee was becoming his best friend again and sleep was for the weak, he’d survive with small naps here and there. 

Coming back down the stairs from checking in on Sam and Dean, they had fallen asleep in their bed for tonight when he read them a story and he had stayed there, just next to their bed marveling at them. He couldn't help but smile when he remembered back to how they had been and how they were now. 

It made his chest warm, those warm fuzzy feelings that Sam and Dean always talked about, and since he wasn't sleeping he didn't want to leave them. 

But eventually he got tired of being there in that position and quietly left their room leading to this, seeing that someone was in the living room. 

Coming to the end of the staircase he paused when he saw Mary on the couch, wrapped around his pillow. The light from the television danced across her face and after a moment she looked away from the television towards the stairs where he was, brightening when she realized he was there. 

"John." she said, smiling and putting the pillow to the side and going to him. The now familiar feeling of her arms around him encompassed him and his eyes closed for a moment, hugging her back. 

"Hey." John said softly, holding her for another moment before he let go and stepped back enough to look at her. "What are you doing up?"

"I see the vampire...in my sleep, they're feeding on the boy... and on you and i can't do anything." Mary told him, nodding. "And I don't like it...I don't wanna see it."

"Nightmares, its okay, we all have them." John said, wanting to reach for her but keeping himself pulled back. "So you're watching..." he trailed off as he looked at the television and realized that Mary was watching some sort of romantic movie. "What?"

Mary looked at the television again and then reached for John's arm, tugging him to the couch. Once they were both on it she curled up against his side, her head on his shoulder. 

"Don't know...it was on." she said, watching the television. "Its...weird."

John nodded, trying to focus on the movie instead of how warm Mary was at his side. He kept his hands on his knees to make sure he didn't let them touch her. Every time he took a breath in he could feel her against him and it made him want nothing more than to just hold her closer. 

Mary nuzzled closer to him, he could almost feel the smile on her face as she watched the movie playing. It was a generic romantic movie, it was the same as the thousand others ones. 

"Oh." Mary sounded suddenly and John blinked, focusing on the television again, he had been drifting for a few moments, and when his vision cleared he saw that the two main leads were kissing on the screen. 

Mary was sitting a bit straighter, watching the scene unfold with parted lips, an unreadable expression on her face. 

"Mary?" John asked softly, looking from her back to the television and getting a slight sinking feeling in his stomach. There was also a flutter in his chest that he was trying to ignore. 

Slowly Mary turned to him, staring at him for a moment before she looked back at the tv and then at him again. 

Her eyes went to his lips and she bit down on her bottom one, leaning in a bit closer towards him. 

Johns heart leaped into his throat and he leaned in slightly as well before he ripped himself away, getting off of the couch completely with a small jump and push. Mary stumbled slightly from his sudden disappearance. 

"John?" Mary asked, looking up at him questioningly and a bit hurt. 

John swallowed hard, barely stopping himself from going to her and getting rid of the hurt look on her face. 

"I'm sorry." he whispered before he turned and left, going down the front stairs and onto the road, leaving the house and just walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 178/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	20. Chapter 20

John fought the urge to bang his head against the nearest tree or car that Bobby was fixing. He was an idiot, he was the purest, strongest, biggest idiot that ever existed in the history of idiots and considering some of the people he knew, that was a big feat. 

Sighing John pulled away from the objects that were tempting him to bang his head against them, he winced when he stepped on something sharp on the ground and hoped that he didn’t accidentally puncture himself on something. 

On the other hand if he did maybe he’d get tetanus and not have to deal with anything else that was going on at the moment. 

But then he thought of Sam and Dean and sighed, limping back towards the house. If he did get tetanus it wouldn't set in for a few more hours so he can still be outside, he was not avoiding anything, and then get first aid inside. 

He fell onto the porch, turning himself so that he could lean against the banister and stare out into the sky. It was still night and dark enough that he could make out the stars and moon, sunrise wasn't going to be for a while. 

His foot was hurting and he was sure that he had hurt himself in some way but he couldn't bring himself to go back inside, a bit afraid of what he was going to find. 

Despite that he heard the door open and he closed his eyes, slowly breathing out. He had no luck when it came to this. Even worse was that he recognized the quiet patter of footsteps that he knew so well. 

Mary sat down next to him on the porch, not saying anything. She also didn't lean into him like he had gotten used to and John tried to ignore the ache at that, wanting to cross that distance again but not daring too. 

He chanced a glance at Mary, she was sitting with her knees pressed to her chest and staring out into the sky as well. Slowly she turned her head to look at him, putting her head on her knees. 

“Did I...do something bad?” she asked softly, the moon illuminating her. 

John felt his mouth dry out for a moment and he cleared it to try to talk. “No.” he managed to get out. 

“Then...why did you run away?” Mary asked, brushing her hair back away from her face. 

“Because...I...we can't do that.” John said trying to find the right words. “The stuff you see on the tv, we can’t do that.”  
“But it looked...nice. Soft.” Mary said, her forehead wrinkling slightly as she tried to think. “Why can't we?”

“We just can't Mary.” John whispered, trying to find the right way to tell her and falling short. “It's not right. It's not something we can do.”

Mary was picking at the sides of her nails, digging her fingers into them. “But ...why?” she asked, there was something else in her voice now, he could almost call it annoyance. Annoyance at him for saying no or annoyance at herself for not understanding he wasn't sure. 

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. “I’m sorry.” he whispered. “It’s just that you and me...it’s not right.”

“Not a kid.” Mary mumbled, turning back to press her forehead into her knees. “‘M not.”

“I know you’re not a kid, you’re a grown woman.” John agreed softly. “But Mary...I’m the first guy you’ve met, it’s not fair to you about this.”

Mary’s fingers were pressing into her legs John noticed and she was shaking slightly. “Mary?”

Mary looked away from him, curling a bit more into herself, shaking a bit more. 

Swallowing John reached out to lightly place his hand on her shoulder, rubbing his thumb against her. “Mary?”

Mary finally turned to look at him again and he felt a sharp pain when he saw the tears in her eyes. 

“‘M not a kid.” she repeated in a mumble. “And it’s hard...in my head sometimes. But...I know that...I like you. A lot. And that movie told me that...when a man and a woman like each other...they do that.”

“I like you too.” John whispered. “It’s just that...”

“Just what?” Mary asked, for the first time since he had met her she seemed to be being driven to anger or some sort of similar emotion and John hated how much he liked seeing it on her. It made her seem more in control of herself and who she was. “Just what?”

John hesitated. “I’m...not ready.” he said slowly and softly. “I’m scared. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” Mary said so convinced that it almost broke him. She nodded and straightened up, wiping at her eyes. “You won’t.”

“I never want to hurt you.” John whispered, letting his hand leave her shoulder to take her hand in his instead. 

Mary looked down at their hands, moving her fingers so they could entwine with his. “I know.” she looked back up at him. “You won’t.”

John swallowed hard, staring at her in the moonlight, his heart beating faster in his chest as he tried to read the emotions on her face. He squeezed her hand and took a deep breath, watching her copy his actions. 

"You won't." Mary repeated, nodding. "I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 179/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	21. Chapter 21

"So she's growing into herself." Bobby said, tossing the first aid kit at John who easily caught it and opened it. "I wanna say that's a good thing but at the same time it ain't."

John focused on bandaging his feet for the moment as he tried to figure out the right words to say. "I guess."

"And you're saying that she tried to kiss you and you ran away." Bobby said dryly. "If it was anyone else there would be something funny about that."

John fought the urge to throw the roll of medical tape at him. Instead he just put everything away and close the kit. "And with it being me and Mary?"

"It's a bit sad." Bobby said, going to the kitchen to pour them both some coffee. Mary had gone back upstairs to her bedroom to go to sleep and John hadn't even tried to sleep, waiting for the rest of the house to wake up instead. "For the both of you."

John stared down at the ground as he accepted the cup of coffee, blowing on it for a moment to cool it down before he drank. "I know." he said softly. 

“Which begs the question, what are you going to do?” Bobby asked, sitting down at his desk and staring at him. 

“I don't know.” he said quietly, his mind turning everything over as he tried to figure out what the best way for Mary was to go from here. 

“If she tries to kiss you again are you gonna let her?” Bobby asked him. 

“I don't know.”

He could almost hear Bobby rolling his eyes. “Well what do you know?”

John sighed, taking another drink of his coffee. “I know that I do want to kiss her.” he said softly. “I want to do all of that. I want to hold her and I want to hug her.” he closed his eyes and thought back to that recurring dream of the four of them being a family. “I want all of us to be together.”

“Careful John, I ain't got dental insurance so I can't get to the dentist.” Bobby told him dryly. “But at least it's not all physical, you really do care about her.”

John nodded, tightening his grip on the cup. “I really do.” he whispered. “I care about her so much Bobby, it feels like I can't breathe sometimes. There are times when I think about her leaving, or going somewhere else, being with someone else or anywhere else, and I swear I’m having a heart attack.”

“But I can't do anything,” John continued. “I can't do a single thing. Mary thinks she knows what she wants, she keeps saying that she trusts me and I’ll never hurt her and that's the truth, that is the goddamn truth, I will never hurt her.”

John took a deep breath. “She's never had a chance to live a life, those vamps kept her locked up and used her, either as food or bait or both at times. Mentally shes just a child, she doesn't know what to do or how to do anything. For fucks sake she acts like Sam and Dean sometimes and it should, and does, make me sick when I think about those other things.”

“I don't know what to do or how to handle this, I’m trying my best, I’m trying to be the bigger person here and keep my distance, I’m trying to be mature and rightful here, I am the first person, the first man to be nice to her and help her.” he closed his eyes tightly once more. “But I’m still that, I’m just a man, and it hurts to want her too and know everything. Its normal that she's feeling like this, especially since she wasn't allowed to even try to find her sexuality or anything close there, and its normal that she's focused on me. The bad part is that I’m focused on her as well.”

He tightened his grip on the cup and bowed his head. “I don't know how much longer I can control myself Bobby.” he whispered. “She keeps hugging me and holding onto me and I love it and hate it. I want to do the same to her but at the same time...I can’t.”

Sighing he looked up at the older man, feeling tired and drained and just plain lost. “I don't know what to do Bobby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 183/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	22. Chapter 22

Despite how much she wanted to get away from what had happened to her Mary was still the most comfortable at night, years of being woken at night and used left a mark on her. 

Meaning that she was able to bring herself to leave the house at night rather than the day, but she did enjoy watching the sunrise every morning and most times John did tend to join her. She would sit on the stairs watching the sun and he’d be in the door frame, watching with her but mostly he watched her. Sometimes they spoke, she’d ask questions and he’d answer, other times they didn't say anything. 

But tonight they were going to do something a bit different. He was going to take Mary out of the house for a bit of a walk, around the house and around the area. Bobby was going to fire up all the lights to make sure they could see where they were going and Mary was going to be able to have a chance to spread her legs a bit more and get used to being out of the house. 

John waited patiently for her to finish tying her shoes, her fingers sometimes didn't seem to want to work so it took her extra time. Once she was done she straightened up, staring at her hands for a moment before she rubbed at them. 

“Do your hands hurt?” John asked, sliding his hands into his pockets to make sure that he didn't reach out to take her hand in his. 

“Yes, always.” Mary said looking up at him and letting her arms fall to her sides. “Vampires broke them...they always hurt.”

John breathed out slowly and then reached out to take one hand in his, he could see Marys eyes widen as he trailed his fingers along each of her own, trying to keep it a bit professional. 

“They broke your fingers.” he said softly, ignoring just how soft her hands were. “I don't think they healed right, especially if they're hurting.”

Mary stared at their hands together, fingers curling slightly to hold onto his. “What to do?”

“If you can ignore it then nothing.” John told her. “Otherwise we break them again and set them right, let them heal again in the right way.”

Mary's eyes widened and she quickly shook her head but didn't pull away from him. “No.”

“Okay, alright.” John quickly assured her, his thumb rubbing over her palm and the back of her hand. “We don't have to do anything, we won't do anything that you don't want to.”

Mary nodded and looked towards the door once more, slowly walking towards it. John moved to pull his hand away from her but after a glance at him she moved her hand enough to hold onto his hand. 

Breathing out John let her do as she wished, holding onto her hand as well and ignoring how well they fit together as well as his heart beating fast in his ears and chest. 

Slowly the two of them walked down the front porch onto the ground, the gravel crunching under their feet. Bobby had done his job to bring up the overhead lights, giving them a clear view of everything around them. 

Mary looked around in slight wonder, her free hand going out to trail the things they walked past. Her fingers dipped into the wood and once they walked past the cars she did the same to them. 

They walked around the salvage yard once before she stopped and looked up at the sky, watching the stars and the almost full moon. 

John didn’t bother to look up at the sky, content to just watch her instead. Half in the moonlight and half from the overhead lights John didn’t trying to hide the thought that she was so beautiful. 

Feeling eyes on him John looked up back towards the house, he needed to tilt his head slightly but he could make out the slight shape of two heads looking out the window at them, trying to use the darkness of their room to hide. 

He gestured with his finger for them to turn away from the window and they seemed to look at each other and shift a bit more downwards, thinking that he couldn’t see them anymore. 

John raised an eyebrow at that, not looking away. He gestured to them again and finally they slid away from the window completely. 

He was about to say something when he heard Mary laugh softly at that and he looked back at her, unable to keep from laughing a bit as well. 

“Kids.” he said shaking his head, glancing at the window once more to make sure that they were gone. And sure enough, he could see a small hint of two heads looking at them again. 

“Do they want to come out?” Mary asked, waving at the window and smiling when the boys waved back at her. 

“No, I think they just want to see what we’re doing.” John said, throwing them a slightly exasperated look. “C’mon, let’s keep walking.”

Mary was still laughing softly as they walked off together. John imagined that the boys were pressing up against the window as much as they could to watch them before they turned the corner of the house and stepped away from their view. 

“I like them.” Mary told him with a smile. “I like them a lot.”

“They like you too.” John said with a smile of his own, squeezing her hand slightly. 

Mary got a thoughtful look on her face. “Do you?” she asked. 

John blinked at that. “Do I what?”

“Do you like me?” Mary asked, her eyes open wide. 

John hesitated, his throat closing up a bit more. “Yes.” he managed to get out. “I like you.”

Mary blinked at that but then grinned widely, holding onto his hand a bit tighter. “I like you too.” she said brightly. 

John stared at her for a moment before he relaxed and smiled, he could at least admit that to her. He did like her, he liked her a lot. 

Mary just smiled at him once more and moved to press into his side once more, like she had so many times before. She didn’t let go of his hand and just nuzzled at him, putting her head on his shoulder as they slowly walked under the moon and stars. 

John didn’t try to move away from her, didn’t try to let go of her hand. He savored the warm feeling of her body against him and let out a small sigh. 

He liked her a lot, it was the truth. 

He was just terrified that it might turn to love pretty soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 185/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	23. Chapter 23

John sighed and tried to look over Sammy's head at the book on the table. Much to his surprise, but not remotely close to his displeasure, Sammy had decided to curl up on his lap and chest while Dean was doing the same with Mary on the couch. 

It was a bit of a surprise for the boys to separate like this but he also wasn't going to come close to complaining, he was enjoying this as well. He and Sammy sometimes seemed a bit more rocky than him and Dean and it warmed his heart to know that the boy had gotten so much closer to him.

“Harvelles called, said they have a possible hunt.” Bobby told him. “Could use a hand with that.”

John hesitated, looking at the couch where Mary and Dean were and then down at Sammy who looked up at him. 

He wanted to say yes, wanted to get back out there hunting and get rid of excess energy and focus on other things that needed to be focused on. 

But at the same time he was more than a bit worried about leaving the boys and Mary behind. He had done it before in the past few times when it had been just him and Sammy and Dean, if he knew that it was going to be a quick hunt he left them in the motel with strict rules and got back as soon as he could. 

But now that Mary was also added to that, everything had changed. He couldn't fathom leaving her with the boys in a motel room, he felt guilty enough leaving Dean in charge of Sammy at the motel but to add Mary to that as well. Despite being older, Dean would still be in charge of the both of them.

There was no question about it, he wasn't going to be able to do that. 

Just the thought of leaving all three of them in a motel, the guilt was already eating him apart. He could leave them here at Bobby's while he went on the hunt but that same guilt, combined with the idea of not being close to them made him want to throw up. 

Breathing out slowly John reached down to rub at the top of Sammy's head, comforted enough Sammy turned back and nuzzled into his chest once more, holding onto his shirt.

“I don't think so.” John said quietly. “I think I’m going to have to pass on it.”

“Not that I don't like the help but you’re going to have to start hunting again sooner or later.” Bobby told him. “You're going to have to get over leaving them alone.”

John swallowed and glanced at the couch once more. Mary turned to look at him, Dean on her lap and she was cuddling him as well.   
“Hunt?” Mary asked him, turning enough on the couch to look at them completely. “You have to go on a hunt?”

“Not yet, I’m not going anywhere yet.” John assured her. “Not for a bit.”

Mary nodded at that, a thoughtful look on her face before she looked down at her hands. Her fingers were shaking slightly as she spread them a bit more, leaning back in the couch. 

John wasn’t sure what to make of the look she had, wrapping an arm around Sammy to keep him in place as he turned as well. “Mary?”

Mary looked back up at him. “Huh?”

“What are you thinking about?” John asked, shifting enough to let Sammy turn as well, still leaning against his chest.

Mary didn’t answer right away. “Hunt.” she finally said. “I...my parents were...hunters.”

John nodded, going to her folder he kept on the table and opened it. “Yeah I think so, Samuel and Deanna Campbell, we’re pretty sure they were hunters.”

Mary nodded as well at that, fingers still shaking slightly. “So...I’m a hunter too. Supposed to be.”

John was quiet as he closed the folder and put it back. “Maybe but right now, you should focus on recovering completely.”

“Werewolves, silver. Vampires, head. Ghosts, fire.” Mary murmured, eyes clouded over slightly. “Witches, bullets. Wendigos, fire.”

She knew a surprising lot, reciting from memory. 

“Mary, maybe you want to go on a hunt one day, but I’m afraid that’s not going to be for a while.” John said gently. “You need to do a lot if you want to go on a hunt.”

Dean tilted his head back to look up at her but didn’t say anything, looking at Sammy as well. 

“Campbells are hunters.” Mary said softly, looking at him again and for a moment John was a taken back at the sudden fire in her eyes. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 186/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	24. Chapter 24

When John found Mary on the porch once more that night, he wasn't that surprised. He sat down next to her, not saying a word just yet, wanting her to start it first. 

“Campbells are hunters.” Mary finally said, repeating the words from earlier. “I’m a hunter. Supposed to be a hunter.”

“Maybe back then but Mary, you still need time to heal.” John said softly. “You've been with the vampires for a long time, you need to give yourself time to get better and then, you can be whatever you want.”

Mary brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, bringing them closer to her chest, lost in thought. 

“Dad...he was cleaning guns.” Mary said quietly, staring down at the ground. “Mom...was looking in papers. I was on dads lap, he was telling me about the guns.”

“The night the vampires came?” John asked softly, fighting the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. 

Mary nodded, moving her hands enough to look down at her fingers again. They weren't straight, they were slightly misshapen and John felt his chest tighten at the knowledge of why they were like that. 

"It was quiet, dad was just showing me the parts." Mary said. She had gotten so much better at speaking, knowing what she wanted to say and just saying it. "Mom went to the...to the kitchen and then...it happened. The vampires got her first, then came for dad."

She bowed her head and buried it in her knees. "And then me."

Breathing out John threw everything to the winds and reached for her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his side. It took a moment but he felt Mary's hand come up between them and grip at his shirt. 

"I'm sorry." he said quietly, just holding her close. "I'm sorry Mary."

Mary was shaking slightly, he could feel it, and he held onto her a bit tighter, rubbing his thumb against her arm. 

"I want to be a hunter." he could barely hear her whisper. "I want to be a hunter. Find vampires. And kill them all."

"Okay." John said simply. "I'm not going to stop you. But you need to focus on yourself first. If your parents were teaching you, what was one of the first things they taught you?"

Mary hesitated, trying to remember all those years ago. "Point the gun at what you want to shoot."

John couldn't help his smile at that. "Well you're not wrong at that." he said. "But one of the first things you need to know is your limitations."

"Limitations?" Mary repeated, looking at him. 

John nodded. "Limitations, you're not...you're not in the best shape. You're not up to going on a hunt anytime soon." he said, hating saying it but knowing that he had to. "Mary...you have a long way to go. Being with those vampires for all these years...its left a number on you. Forgetting everything else, forgetting training and relearning how to use weapons, you need to be able to walk by yourself. Run by yourself, be able to read a lot of different things."

Mary stared at him for a moment, shaking slightly. Her eyes were blinking rapidly and she took a deep breath. 

"I'm here, I'm going to help you as much as you let me." John told her. "But I'm not going to let you just go off on a hunt like this, if you do you're going to die and I'll never be able to forgive myself."

Mary took another deep breath, hands curling slightly when she winced and looked down at them once more.

It seemed almost instantaneous. Something inside of her broke seconds later, staring down at her hands, her broken misshapen hands, and she bowed over slightly, her body shaking. 

John pulled away enough to try to look at her, hand moving to hold onto her arm. "Mary?"

Her shaking intensified and both hands came to grip at his shirt. "Why me?" she whispered, her voice cracking. "Why me? Why?"

John closed his eyes and turned so that he could wrap his arms around her completely, holding her close. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "I don't know. I'm sorry."

Mary gripped him tightly, he could feel tears falling down onto his shirt. John curled more around her, hand going to her back to rub at it. 

"They hurt me." she whispered, voice breaking almost on every word. "They hurt me so much. For so long."

"I know, I know sweetheart." John murmured, holding her close and rubbing her back. "Just...let it out. I'm here for you."

He wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, Mary in his arms crying and sobbing everything out. Her frustration, her fear, her anger and despair. She lost too many years to the vampires, they had used and abused her in every way possible, and maybe just now it was coming to complete understanding for her. 

She had lived for years as food and bait, not allowed to think of herself as anything else, actively discouraged to do so. 

John closed his eyes and just held onto her, holding onto her tightly, as if his arms and chest were enough to keep her safe for the rest of eternity. 

After what seemed like an eternity Mary finally seemed to calm down, pulling away enough to be able to look up at him with red rimmed eyes. 

John's hands came up to cup her face gently, his thumb rubbing over her cheeks to wipe the remaining tears away, then just holding onto her. 

“Tell me what you need me to do.” John whispered. “What do you need from me?”

Mary did not answer for a moment, just staring at him. Slowly she started to move closer towards him. 

Johns eyes widened when he realized what she was doing, swallowing hard, his mind whirling as he tried to figure out what was the best thing for him to do.

“You sure?” he whispered, thumbs moving over her cheeks once more. 

Mary hesitated, uncertainty fluttering over her face. “I...”

“If you're not sure, we don't need to do anything.” John told her. “it's all up to you.”

John moved forward until their foreheads were pressed together, still holding onto her. 

“Do you want to?” Mary whispered, her hands coming up to hold onto his arms. 

“It doesn't matter what I want, it matters what you want.” John said. “Whatever you want, I’ll help you with.”

John took a deep breath. “Whatever you want Mary.” he murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 187/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	25. Chapter 25

Nothing else happened that night. They went back inside after a few minutes and when John had started towards the couch Mary just tugged him with her towards her room. 

He paused at the boys room and peered in, breathing out a small sigh of relief when he saw the boy curled up in their bed together, deep asleep. 

Shaking his head he followed Mary to her bedroom, looking around the room instead of looking at her. There were her notes and writings all over the room along with a bunch of pencils. There was a collection of the books he had gotten her in a neat pile around the room as well. 

"We're gonna have to return some of those books." he said softly. "They belong to the library, but I'll be able to get you more of them."

Mary nodded as she sat on the edge of the bed, slowly untying her shoes to take them off. "Can I come?"

John hesitated, trying to push down the rising feeling of panic of Mary being out in the world. He'd be right there next to her but there was only so much he could protect her from. 

And if someone got the wrong idea they might even try to take her away. 

Breathing out slowly he managed a nod, knowing that it wasn't really up to him. It was up to Mary and if she wanted to go with him, she'd go with him. 

It was small but he could see small bits and hints of her stubborn nature that was slowly starting to come out. And if he tried to deny her too many times it would either end with her spirit completely broken, or she'd lash out in anger and despair. 

"I have a few things to go in town actually, I have to go shopping again soon." John said softly, toeing his boots off and setting them close to the door. "If you want, you can come with me."

Mary smiled and nodded, sitting back a bit more onto the bed. "I want to." she said softly. 

John smiled back at her, feeling his chest warm slightly at the sight of her. "Do you want me to leave so you can change?"

Mary glanced down at herself, picking at her shirt for a moment. "Change?"

"Into whatever you want to sleep in." John prompted. "Unless you want to sleep in that."

Mary shrugged, moving so that she could lay down on the bed completely, on top of the blankets. "Doesn't matter."

"Okay." John said, a bit happy that that was one thing he didn't need to think about. He came to the bed as well and slowly laid down, trying to keep to his side. 

Mary moved closer to him until she could curl into his side. Breathing out he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. He could almost feel her smile as she nuzzled closer to him. 

"Really warm." she murmured, looking up at him. "Its nice."

"Yeah, it is." John whispered, turning his head so that he could look at her. "Is this okay?"

Mary nodded and curl in closer to him, her head almost on his chest as her eyes closed. "Okay." 

It was warm and it was simultaneously the most comforting and the worst feeling John could remember ever having in his life. Mary was a warm weight in his arms pressing down into him and John wanted nothing more than to curl into her as well, hold her as close as possible to him. 

Instead he just laid there on the bed, one arm around her and Mary herself pressing close to him as she fell asleep. 

John closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable, this was either going to be one of his best nights of sleep or the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 188/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	26. Chapter 26

Going to sleep John just prayed for one thing and one thing only, that he wouldn’t wake up with an erection. That was something he was not and would never be ready to explain to Mary.

He woke up first thankfully, mind a bit muddled and in a pleasant fog. There was a warm figure curled up close to him and unconsciously he turned towards it, holding it closer as well. 

Before his mind finally caught up with him and his eyes snapped open, moving his hips away from Mary. It took him a moment but he let out a small sigh of relief when he realized that nothing had happened. 

Once that panic was gone John let himself fall back onto the bed, not yet moving away from Mary just yet. He shifted slightly in the bed and he couldn’t hold back his smile. 

She looked so peaceful in her sleep, relaxed and free of stress. It made his chest warm more and more and he hated how right it felt at that moment. To be in the same bed as her with her in his arms, the more he thought about it, the more he actually felt it, the more he wanted it again and again. 

He wanted to go to sleep with her and to wake up with her in his arms. He wanted to spend his nights with her and he wanted to share everything he had, as little as it was, with her completely. 

Sighing John moved slowly and carefully, sliding out from around her as gently as he could to not wake her up. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her for another moment, reaching out with a slightly shaking hand to brush back some of her hair from her face. 

Unbidden he remembered the first dream he had had about her. The both of them in the same bed, just like this, a lazy and soft morning together, just kissing and touching. 

John closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, forcing himself to get off of the bed, snagging his boots at the door, and going to the bathroom to take care of business. Afterwards he went downstairs to the kitchen and lightly tossed his boots at the front door and as he passed the counter and with a push of the button he started the coffee maker. 

He sat down at the table and rubbed at his forehead, trying to figure out what to do and where to go from now. 

Maybe he should leave for a few days, pick a hunt or two close by to get some aggression out and get some of his energy out. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so cooped up in a house for such a long period of time and maybe it was starting to make him antsy. 

Hearing the soft sound of padding feet he looked up, smiling when he saw Dean coming into the kitchen carrying a still half asleep Sammy as well. 

“Morning boys.” John greeted them, getting up from the table. “You hungry?”

Dean nodded, climbing onto the chair and maneuvering Sammy into his lap and rubbing at his eyes. “Yea.”

John reached out to stroke over their heads for a moment as he passed them towards the refrigerator. “You boys want cereal or eggos?”

“Cereal?” Dean requested, despite sounding it like a question. In answer John quickly got the milk and one giant bowl with two spoons, the boys still liked to share everything and it made it a great deal easier to just give them a double serving on a single platter. 

He poured them cereal and sat down at the table, eating some pieces dry from the box and watching the boys slowly eat together. 

“Mary and I might go into town later today, or tomorrow.” John said softly, getting up when the coffee maker beeped and poured himself a cup. “Do you guys need anything?”

The boys looked at one another, sometimes John thought that one of Sam’s powers was to mentally talk to others, but mainly with Dean. 

“Can we come?” Dean finally asked, turning back to him. 

John hesitated, he had barely been ready to take Mary out. Dean was the most comfortable out with him, sometimes he hid behind him, but they hadn’t even tried with Sammy yet. And combining that with Mary and Sammy and Dean all together being outside, it made it hard to breathe for a few moments. 

He wanted to protest, he wanted to say something about none of them being ready for all four of them to be outside together. He wasn’t mentally ready for that and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready for it. 

Swallowing hard he came to a decision, it was hard but he also knew that it was something that needed to be done at some point. 

“Yeah of course.” John said. “We’ll all go out together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 194/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	27. Chapter 27

Maybe they should’ve started with something smaller, maybe taking them one by one into town instead of going all four together at the same time. 

John sighed and glanced down at Sammy who was curled up close to him, as close as possible, and moved his arm enough to rub at his back. Sammy was shaking and clinging to him as tightly as he could and if he hadn’t had such a grip on himself he was sure that Sammy would be sobbing as well. 

John tried to think calming and soothing thoughts, trying to communicate that with Sammy as best as he could. Sammy was a bit of an empath, a telepath, a mess of things and but whatever he was he fed off of people's emotions and feelings. 

But that also meant that the more people around him, the more things he felt, the more overwhelming everything around him was. 

With the five of them at Bobbys it was a bit more manageable. He was used to them and he was able to either ignore or easily live with it, he wasn’t sure what Sammy did to deal with it and made a mental note to ask him about it later. 

John hoisted Sammy up a bit more, still rubbing at his back. They had managed to get into town for under four minutes before Sammy had cracked and broke, clutching at his head and close to just breaking down right then and there. 

So he had quickly brought them into the park, into as secluded a corner he was able to find that fast and just focused on helping Sammy to calm down.

He glanced to the side to where Dean and Mary were sitting, leaning against one another with Dean quietly pointing things out for Mary who was looking around with wide eyes. If anything they seemed to be enjoying being outside of the house and somewhere else, the fresh air seemed to be doing them some good. 

He did have to give Mary his sunglasses, and they kept slipping down her face which she seemed to find a bit amusing, to help her to be able to see. She wasn’t used to the sun as well and he made another mental note to get them either under some sort of shade or sunscreen. 

When it seemed that Sammy was starting to relax a bit more he looked down at him, his hand still moving. “Sammy, you back with us?” he asked in a murmur. 

It took a moment but Sammy gave a small nod, his grip on Johns shirt loosening just slightly. 

Dean looked at them as well, moving to lean against Johns lap and reached for Sammy's hand, running his fingers over the back of it. “Sammy?”

Slowly Sammy turned his head, opening one eye to look at Dean, breathing heavily. Bit by bit Sammy started to let go of Johns shirt and reached for Dean as well. Running his hand over Sammys back one more time he carefully placed Sammy into Dean's lap and arms. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Sammy, the two curling around one another and John could almost see the rest of the tension leave Sammy as he held onto his brother. 

With that John relaxed as well, rubbing at his eyes before he looked at Mary. She was watching the boys and then looked up at him, smiling at him. He returned the smile and leaned back onto the bench. 

“How you doing?” he asked her, glancing at the boys and back at her. 

“Good.” Mary said, turning towards the sun and tilting her head to let it wash over her completely. “Its warm.”

“Yeah it is.” John said, copying her motion for a moment and savoring the sunlight. He couldn’t stop looking at the boys to make sure that they were okay and calm, reaching out to wrap his arms around Dean and by extension Sammy as well. 

He looked around the park, happy that it was empty and then back at the other three. He reached down and took his boots off, setting his feet on the grass. He knelt in front of the boys and did the same, pulling their shoes off and letting it fall to the ground. 

Mary watched them and copied it, taking her shoes off as well, eyes widening when she placed her bare feet on the grass.

John smiled at her and picked the boys up to set them on the grass as well. Dean giggled lightly and laid back onto the grass, still holding onto Sammy. He turned them both onto their sides so that they could each be on the grass. 

John held his hand out to Mary who easily took it, holding onto him as she got off of the bench and sat down on the grass next to him, placing her head on his shoulder. 

John couldn’t help himself, he relaxed more and tilted his head so that it could press against Mary's head as she leaned against him. The boys were just inches away and easily within reach. The sun was shining and now everything was calmed down and alright. 

Letting out a small sigh he half glanced at Mary who met his gaze with another smile. 

Everything was warm and safe and calm now and for the time being, he could relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 195/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	28. Chapter 28

This was a second attempt to go into town to stock up again. This time it was just him and Mary, leaving the boys back at Bobbys. 

Sammy had felt incredibly guilty about the whole thing and John had needed to assure and reassure him countless times that it wasn’t his fault, he had special abilities and as a result sometimes things just got overwhelming. 

Bobby was calling in a few favors to find other psychics and without giving too much information about their circumstances he was trying to find hints and other helpful tips about how to help Sam to try to control himself. 

He was also starting to run low on funds so he was going to either go out of town to hustle some guys at pool or pick up a few jobs here and there in town or at Bobbys, more so than he did while he was there anyway. 

He glanced at Mary as he parked the car in the parking lot, taking a deep breath. She was looking around them in wonder and a touch of excitement that he found both endearing and a bit worrying. 

Taking a deep breath he nodded and turned the cars engine off, turning towards her completely. Mary did the same, his sunglasses that she hadn’t given back yet sliding down slightly. 

“It shouldn’t be that crowded today, most people do their shopping on Fridays or on the weekends.” he told her. “But if you feel overwhelmed at any time and want to leave, we can leave, its fine.”

Mary nodded at that, a thoughtful look on her face as she glanced towards the supermarket. “We’re getting...food?”

“Yeah, we need to get more things and if you see something you like, you can add it to the cart.” John told her. “You ready to go?”

Mary nodded once more and slowly undid her seatbelt and stepping outside. John quickly joined her, locking the car behind them. He snagged them a cart from the group and wheeled it inside. 

Immediately the moment they were inside the supermarket John felt as if everyone was staring at them, more specifically at Mary. He swallowed hard and fought the urge to wrap his arm around her to bring her closer to him. 

Mary was looking around in wonder, eyes wide behind the sunglasses which she then moved up to the top of head so that she could look around. She slowed her pace and John met her steps as she walked around the fruits and vegetables first, her hand coming out to trail over them. 

She always liked to do that, she liked to feel everything around her as much as she could and thankfully her touch was still light so he didn’t have to worry about her hurting herself or the things she was touching.

John kept an eye on her as he bagged the produce that they needed. Before he put them into the plastic bags he offered them to her to look at, sometimes she sniffed at it too, before she handed it back to him and moved on. 

Slowly they filled their cart together, Mary reaching out to touch everything that she could, running her fingers along the cartons and the bags and boxes. He did stop her from opening the boxes of the things they didn’t need though but he let her do that to the stuff he intended to buy. 

But he also had to stop her from eating some of the things as well, much to her displeasure, but promised that once it was all paid for and cooked she could eat as much as she could. 

He also stopped at the bakery section and that was a moment he almost lost her amid the breads and baked goods. He had placated her with buying a freshly made pie and bread, she seemed to be fixated on the bread more than the pie, and managed to pull her away from it. 

He paid for everything, ignoring the cashiers confused and questioning look when Mary seemed enthralled by the beeps that the register was making. Breathing out a small sigh of relief once they were outside, sagging a bit holding the bags except the one that held the bread, Mary was carrying that one. 

Putting the bags into the backseat he came back to the drivers seat where Mary was already in the passenger's seat and had opened the bread packaging and was eating it. 

Mary was smiling as she bit into the bread, her entire body relaxing as she ate it. John glanced at her as they got onto the road and she handed him a piece. 

“Thank you.” he said with a smile, biting into it. “You really like bread that much?”

Mary nodded, taking another big bite and letting out a small sigh. “Daddy...made it a lot.” she mumbled around the piece. “He liked to make it and...we made it a lot. Together.”

John felt a small pang and he reached out to take her hand in his. “I’m sorry.” he said softly before an idea came to him. “Do you want to make bread back at Bobbys?” he had no idea how to make bread, he would have to find a recipe somewhere, but he’d manage. It couldn’t be that hard. 

Mary’s eyes widened and she nodded eagerly at that, smiling widely, holding his hand tightly. “Yes, yes please.” she said happily. 

John smiled at her as well, squeezing her hand softly. “Then we can try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 199/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	29. Chapter 29

For some reason Bobby had an old barely held together cookbook and by some miracle there was a recipe for bread in there as well. 

When John asked why he had it Bobby ignored his question and focused on his drink, he quickly moved away from that and looked up what he needed for the bread. 

They had everything they needed except for yeast and he quickly went back out to grab a few packets of that along with a few other things for them. 

Surprisingly they didn’t need eggs which was something that he expected to need but he was also relieved that it was one bit less of a mess to worry about. But at the same time that didn’t do a thing to alleviate his worry about baking. He never did it before, he didn’t really cook at all really, so he wasn’t sure what to expect with any of it.

John reread the directions and got everything in order on the counter for them before Mary joined him and whatever apprehension he felt evaporated when she saw everything waiting for her. 

Sam and Dean also joined them a few minutes later, at first they sat at the table together just watching them before John coaxed them to join as well, they stayed to the sink for now, slowly washing everything. 

She also seemed to relish in getting her hands a bit dirty with the flour, eagerly mixing it with the water, salt, and sugar. Her fingers dug into the slowly becoming dough and she laughed in delight. 

John grinned at her as well, glancing at his hands that were also covered in flour. He turned to go to the sink to wash them, rubbing the flour off. He looked down at Dean who smiled back up at him and held a towel out to him. 

“Thank you.” he said taking the towel and drying his hands. Mary was staring at her own hands as well, flexing her fingers to watch the flour fall off in small pieces. “Mary? Want to wash your hands?”

Mary looked up at him and then back at her hands, slowly going towards the sink. Instead of washing her hands, she reached out and slid her finger along his nose, giggling as she did. 

John blinked, going cross eyed for a moment as he tried to look down at his nose. He reached up and rubbed at it, feeling the flour that had remained there. He looked up at Mary as well, her smile was fading slightly and she backed up. 

John reached for the flour that was still on the counter and used his still wet hands to cover it, reaching out to gently run his fingers over her cheek. 

Mary giggled once more, the worry disappearing from her face as she grabbed some more flour and tried to repeat the motions. 

John grinned as he step sided her slightly, reaching for more flour and then handing the bag to Dean and Sammy. 

Sammy peered into the bag curiously and then looked at Dean, smiling softly. He glanced at John and Mary who seemed to be intent on wiping the flour on their hands onto one another. Sammy then smiled and wet his hand a bit before he dipped his hand into the bag as well. 

Dean glanced at the older two and bit down on his bottom lip before he copied the movements, setting the bag carefully back onto the counter. 

Sammy slid off the small step stool they had been on and jumped up once Mary was close enough smear the flour on her arm.

Mary jumped at the sudden side attack and then smiled down at him, going for the flour bag as well as Dean joined the fight as well, laughing as he set his hands on John's leg. 

John couldn’t stop laughing as he reached down to pick Dean up and set him under his arm, reaching for Mary to stop her from getting more ammo. Sammy jumped in as well once more and tugged at the bag. 

He tugged a bit too much however as the bag fell off the counter and landed right onto him, covering him completely in the flour. 

Sam blinked and then brought his entirely covered in flour arms and hands up, bringing them up to his hair and ruffle it to make more float down to the ground. His face seemed frozen for a moment before it crumpled and he started to shake. 

John quickly placed Dean back onto the ground and scooped Sammy into his arms, holding him close. “It's alright, just flour.” he said reassuringly. “Guess we all got a bit out of hand.” he blinked then when he felt hands on his cheeks and the rough telltale sensation of flour. He looked down and raised an eyebrow when Sammy just grinned at him. 

“Mischievous scamp.” he said with a chuckle as he placed Sammy back onto the floor and Dean quickly joined his side. “Don’t move, you’ll track flour all over the place.”

Mary looked a bit worried, glancing between Sammy and John. “Sam? You okay?” she asked him. 

Sammy nodded, rubbing at himself to let more of the flour fall to the ground. He grinned at Dean and reached to take the flour off of him and put it on him instead. 

“Okay stop.” John said pulling them apart as they started to fling the small bits of flour at one another. “You keep doing this and you can clean the kitchen.”

Mary was laughing at them and when he looked at her he smiled at her as well. Still smiling she turned to their lump of bread and then at the oven. 

Casting the both of them a look to make sure they didn’t start again John came forward and grabbed the readied pan, carefully put the dough inside of it, and placed it in the oven. 

“And now it cooks, bakes.” he corrected himself. He looked at the boys. “And you two need baths.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 200/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	30. Chapter 30

Dinner that night was a nice, calm, quiet affair, much to his surprise. He had given the boys a bath and after that the bread had been ready. He had cut some for Mary and the boys to try and left the rest for dinner. 

Watching Mary eat the bread, something so simple and so easy, and then seeing her smile, a pure and happy smile, it warmed him completely. When she smiled back at him and offered some of it, he couldn’t say no and had a bite. 

It was surprisingly good, well baked and tasted like bread. But the best part, hands down, was the look on Mary's face, it was alright in delight and happiness. 

After that dinner was nothing special but at the same time, it was enjoyable. It was calm, it was like they were having a family type of dinner and John hated how much he enjoyed it and how much he wanted more of it. 

Doing the dishes later, the boys joined him in drying everything off and Mary also helped with putting the leftovers away. 

It was so damn domestic that a part of him was debating to find a place, a real place, for all of them so they wouldn’t be intruding with Bobby anymore but knew that he shouldn’t be thinking anything near close to that. 

Shaking his head John dried his hands and looked down at Dean and Sammy who stared up at him. 

"What do you guys want to do tonight?" he asked them. "We can watch something or read or anything else."

The two looked at one another, they were hand in hand and John couldn't help but find it a bit cute. "Together?" Dean asked. 

John nodded, trying not to think about what 'together' meant, or who it meant. "Yes of course."

“Can we...go outside?.” Dean asked after another look at Sammy. He still had no idea if they were communicating telepathically or if Dean could just understand what Sammy meant, but it made things a lot easier. 

“Outside where? Into the yard or somewhere else?” John asked, tossing the towel he had been using to dry onto the counter. 

Dean shrugged and looked at Sammy again. “Yard?” he asked, his voice a bit uncertain. 

“Put your boots on, Bobby doesn’t keep the yard that clean.” John said. “I’ll get Marry and you boys wait for us, alright?”

The boys nodded in unison and sped off to do as he told them. John watched for a moment with a fond smile before he went to the living room to find Mary, she was on the couch slowly looking through a book he had gotten for her. 

"The boys want us to go outside for a bit." John told her when she looked up at him. "Want to come with?"

Almost immediately she nodded and got off the couch, tossing the book to the side. "Shoes?" she asked, reaching for his hand. 

John didn't fight anymore when she took his hand, taking her in his as well. "Shoes, its kinda messy out there."

Mary nodded and went to the front where all of their shoes were, Dean and Sammy were already there and ready. Glancing over them he nodded and opened the door for them to go into the yard, something the kids seemed eager for when he watched how fast they clambered out of the house. 

Maybe they could go to the park again, John mused as he and Mary followed after them. Sammy might not be able to deal with the town with all its people just yet but maybe the park would be better. Preferably on a day when there wasn’t that many people, slowly ease him into it and get him used to everything. 

It would be a good chance at learning more control and at that thought John noticed that the boys had stopped running around.

Sammy was looking at the small pieces of metal on the ground in interest, his head tilted to the side. Dean had his arms around him from behind and was doing the same, just staring. 

John raised an eyebrow at that, trying to figure out what they were doing. “Boys? What’s happening over there?”

Almost in an answer Sammy brought his hand up and took a deep breath, slowly the pieces of metal shook and then started to float into the air, one by one. 

John couldn’t help his smile at that, a part of him was still a bit peeved about and was slightly fearful of Sammy’s powers, but at the same time, it was as much a part of Sammy as anything else was, including the hair on his head. It was something he couldn’t ignore and he was certainly something they should avoid. 

The sound of gravel crunching immediately made his hair stand up and he moved, getting to his feet and turned, feeling his stomach drop. 

A few feet away was another hunter, a hunter he had had the unfortunate pleasure to work with once and only once. Kubrick, a hunter that only went by that name, who had a history and reputation of only seeing black and white, with all normal human being on the white side and anything remotely supernatural on the black side and therefore needed to be killed. 

Including psychics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 207/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	31. Chapter 31

John had immediately moved towards Kubrick, moving himself so that he could cover the boys and Mary as best as he could. “What are you doing here?”

Kubrick didn’t answer for a moment, tilting his head to the side to look right at Sammy once more. John fought the urge to punch him and moved as well, making sure that he couldn’t see the younger boy. “I asked you a question.”

“You did.” Kubrick agreed, eyes flickering up to him, an unreadable expression on his face. “But that doesn’t mean that I need to answer you.”

John rolled his shoulders back and straightened up as much as he could, trying to make himself bigger. “You need something Kubrick?” he asked lowly. 

“Heard Bobby was having a problem with some psychics, was putting out needing information about them.” Kubrick said, his voice low and a dark look in his eyes. “So I decided to come along to help out.”

“Thanks but no thanks, we don’t need your help.” John told him coldly, not looking away from him. “So you can leave.”

“I don’t think I will.” Kubrick said, taking a step forward. Johns hand shot out and grasped at his arm, stopping him from moving. 

“I wasn’t asking.” John said, his voice low and dangerous. He tightened his grip enough for the other man to feel it hard. “Leave.”

Kubrick stared at him for a long moment, the corners of his lips twitching upwards, before he turned and started back towards his car. John watched to make sure that the man got into his car and drove away before he turned back to the others. 

Dean was still holding onto Sammy, holding him closer now. He looked worried and his eyes were wide as he looked up at John. John wanted to smile and reassure him but he couldn’t, pushing down the fear that was growing inside of him. 

“Get inside.” John told them, watching a bit satisfied at how quickly Dean moved, carrying Sammy back into the house and closing the door behind them. 

John turned his attention to Mary who was staring at him with a surprisingly intense look on her face. 

“You should get inside too.” John told her, only marginally surprised when she shook her head. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, standing up so that they were a bit more at eye level. 

John sighed and turned back to make sure that Kubrick had indeed left, not sure if he felt relief or apprehension when the lot was empty. 

“Another hunter, a bad one.” he told her. “And Sammy might be in danger from him.”

Mary's eyes widened slightly and she turned to look into the house once more, shifting in place. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know.” John said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But whatever happens, we need to be ready.”

Mary nodded at that, straightened up slightly. “Okay.” she said. John did smile slightly when he realized that she was trying to pump herself up, get herself ready as well. 

“Can you check on the boys?” he asked her. “I need to talk to Bobby.”

John watched her go back into the house as well and took a moment to take a deep breath before he went inside as well, trying to steady his rapidly beating heart.

Bobby immediately looked up at him when he came in, standing up. “What the hell happened out there?” he asked.

“Kubrick.” John told him, watching the look of disgust appear on Bobby's face. “Heard we were doing something with a psychic and came to offer his help.”

“Balls.” Bobby cursed under his breath, turning away. “He still out there?”

“No, managed to get him to leave. For now.” John said, looking up the stairs where he knew that the boys were. “But he’ll be back.”

Bobby nodded, eyes narrowing for a moment as he thought. “Kubricks not one we can just talk to.” he said. “So if we’re going to protect Sam, we need to take him out.”

“That’s the plan.” John said with a tense nod. “I got no problem with that.”

Bobby gave him a small tight smile. “Me either.” he looked around his house. “I’ll make sure we’re all stocked up on everything we need.”

“I’ll make sure that the kids are alright, I asked Mary to look at them but...” he trailed off, not wanting to put into words just how much he needed to see that the boys were okay. 

Without waiting for another answer John went upstairs to the boys room, taking a moment to collect himself before he knocked on the door and opened it. 

Dean and Sammy were curled up on the bed, Mary was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked up at him when he came in. 

Sighing John came in, sitting on the other side of the bed. He was about to say something when he saw that Dean was the one shaking harder than Sammy. 

“Dean? What’s wrong?” John asked, making sure to keep his voice steady and soft.

“I know him.” Dean whispered, his voice so low John was barely able to make it out. “I know him.”

John breathed out slowly, reaching out to gently touch Deans back, pulling back slightly when Dean flinched from his touch. “How do you know him Dean?” he asked softly. 

Dean didn’t answer right away, his entire body starting to shake harder. Sammy moved closer to him and wrapped his arms and legs around him as best as he could. Dean buried his face in Sammys shoulders and took a deep breath. 

“From before.” Dean managed to whisper. “He was one of those...hunters that...I had to...”

“You don’t need to tell me.” John quickly told him, wanting to stop it right there, wanted to erase whatever had happened, wanted to kill the man that dared to call himself Dean's dad all over again. “Its okay Dean, it's going to be okay.”

Dean moved slowly but then looked over his shoulder at John. “Is he coming back for me?” he whispered. 

“No, no he’s not.” John assured him. “And even if he was, I’d never let him get to you or to Sammy.” his eyes went up to Mary who was staring at them. She met his gaze and lifted her head slightly, nodding herself. 

“We’re going to protect you boys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural .
> 
> 222/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	32. Chapter 32

“We’re going to have to be smart about how we do it, if word gets out that you killed a hunter, no matter how it happened, you’re gonna be ostracized.” Bobby said, tossing him a small bag of bullets. 

John caught it and opened the bag, peering into it and counting the bullets. “This isn’t going to be the first hunter I’ve killed.” he said curtly. 

“I know, but it's going to be the first one thats so well known.” Bobby said. “Some hunters even revere him, say he's on the right track with killing every single supernatural being out there.”

“Well those people need to die too.” John told him, pocketing the bullets. “We can start with Kubrick and I’ll work my way through the others slowly.”

“How about you focus on Kubrick and try not to get caught that you're hunting hunters.” Bobby suggested. “Alright so Kubrick ain’t that smart, he’s a good hunter but not a scholar. We can try to trap him and kill him like that.”

John kinda wanted to just punch him in the dick until he stopped moving and then shoot him. But Bobby also did have a point in that they needed to make sure that Kubrick didn’t have a chance against them. 

“Think he’ll bring others?” John asked, going to the desk and rummaging through it for a few moments. 

“Maybe. He’s going to know that we’re getting ready for him so he’ll want to strike fast, that might mean he’ll be alone or not that many.” Bobby said. “Either way, we have the home field advantage.”

John nodded, glancing up towards the stairs once more. “Where’s the best place to keep the boys and Mary?”

“Best? Keep them in their room and tell them not to leave.” Bobby said. “Actual best? Panic room downstairs.”

John breathed out slowly, trying to figure out the best way to get them into the panic room. It was cold, it was damp, it was a prison as much as it was a safety room. 

And he tried to imagine putting the boys and Mary in there and he wanted to throw up. While he knew that it would’ve been for the better and safer for them, the thought of leaving them there, even for a short while, made everything feel wrong.

But it also made the most sense. 

Sighing and shaking his head he went upstairs to where the trio were knocking on their door for a moment before he came in, blinking at the scene in front of him. 

The boys and Mary looked up at him, on the ground was a mess of barbed wire, knives, and two wooden bats. Mary was in the process of wrapping the wire around one of the bats and Dean was holding another one trying to copy her. 

“What are you guys doing?” John asked, stepping into the room. Mary offered him her finished bat and he took it, turning it over to look at it better. 

He had to admit, it was a really good job.

“Why are you guys doing this?” John asked, handing it back to a pleased looking Mary. 

“Making weapons.” Mary told him, handing more barbed wire to Dean who obediently wrapped it around the bat. “To be ready.”

He was reminded of a moment that Mary had been raised as a hunters child and the first instinct in a hunter tasked with either going on the defense or offense is to gather weapons. 

Even Dean to an extent was the same, he was also a hunters child so maybe there had been something done there too. Watching him carefully wrap barbed wire around the bat seemed to hint at some sort of training, or at the very least obedience. 

“Good job kiddo.” John said, reaching out to stroke over Deans head. The kid beamed at him in delight and held up his bat for inspection. 

“Sammys not making anything cause he can move things.” Dean told him. “And he tried to see what's gonna happen but he can’t see anything right now.”

John wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but he nodded at that, reaching out to do the same to Sammy. Sammy smiled up at him and curled into Deans side, reaching out to touch the bat carefully. 

“Boys listen.” John said slowly. “When the time comes you guys are going to have to go downstairs to Bobby's panic room for safety, is that alright?”

The boys shared a look with one another, Dean reached out to take Sammy's hand. “The metal room?”

“The metal room.” John said with a nod. “I know its not the best but it's the safest and I want you boys to be safe.”

“But how are we gonna help if we’re in there?” Dean asked, looking at the bats once more. 

Oh that made his heart twist just a little bit, they hadn’t wanted to just be there, they had wanted to fight alongside him. 

“You’re going to help by being safe, and if I know you’re safe then I can fight a lot better.” John said. 

“What about me?” Mary asked, lifting the bat up and letting her fingers move over the wood to make sure the wires were set in place. 

“You're going to be with the boys, I want someone else with them there.” John said, his stomach sinking when he saw her eyes narrow and a determined look appear on her face. 

He was dealing with two hunters children and a budding psychic, all three of which wanted to fight and if Kubrick wasn’t going to kill him then a heart attack was going to get him first. 

“Everyone has their part to play.” John told them all firmly. “And if we want this to work out then we need to each play our part.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 225/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	33. Chapter 33

“No.”

“Mary please I need you to do this and-”

“No.”

“The kids need you to be-”

“No.”

John stared tiredly at the woman who had her arms crossed over her chest and was glaring at him. He was sure that he wasn’t supposed to think about how much her anger made her a bit more beautiful but he couldn’t help it. 

“Okay.” John said, trying to think of the right words to say. “Mary. I need you to be with the kids, I need someone to stay with them and make sure that no one gets close to them.”

“Bobby.” Mary told him with a firm nod, straightening her back. 

“I need Bobby upstairs with me.” John told her. “So that means that you’re going to have to be with the boys.”

In response Mary reached down and grabbed the bat she had wrapped in barbed wire and brought it up, arm poised to start bringing it down onto someone. 

John fought the urge to take a few steps away from her to get away from her range. At the same time, however, it was more than a bit satisfying to see her there with a weapon in her hands that she had not only made but was ready to use. 

“Mary, the boys love you and are a lot more comfortable with you, you can keep them calm too.” John told her, trying to pacify her. “Please this is something that I need you to do. For me, for the boys.”

Mary narrowed her eyes at him but he could see a bit of her resolve crumble as she looked up towards the stairs where the boys room was. 

“I know you want to fight, and you want to protect them. So do I.” John continued. “And by that I need someone to be with them just in case a hunter gets too close to them.”

There was a displeased look on her face but slowly she nodded, bringing the bat down slightly. She stared at the bat for a moment before she held it out for him. 

“Don't you want it?” he asked, reaching to take the bat from her. He shifted it in his hands and moved back to swing it a few times, liking the way it felt in his hands and how it worked. 

Not to mention he knew that the barbed wire was going to be hell on a person as well as the heavy weight of the bat. 

“We have more.” Mary told him, gesturing up towards the room. “Use it.”

John nodded and swung once more, getting a feel for it. “I will.” he said with a smile. “Thank you.”

Mary nodded at him, an unreadable expression on her face. 

“After this, once everything is settled, I’ll try to find a hunt for us to go on.” John offered her. “Something easy for us to work on together.”

After a moment Mary smiled and nodded, pleased at the idea. She looked up and John did the same when they heard people coming down the stairs. Bobby and the boys were coming down and Dean was holding onto another three bats.

“They’re ready to go downstairs.” Bobby said. “I’ve restocked it with food and water and stuff, they’ll be alright down there.”

John nodded and smiled reassuringly at the boys. Dean did the same and Sammy held onto Deans sleeve, looking down at the ground. 

“Alright, let's get this done.” John said. “I’ll walk you guys there.” he reached out for Sammy's free hand, Dean had to use both of his to hold the bats for now. “Sammy? You see anything you can tell us?”

Sammy seemed to think for a moment before he shook his head. John wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but decided not to think too much about it. 

“Alright, that's fine. Let's just get you boys settled.” John said, squeezing Sammy's hand gently.

He walked them down into the panic room, eyeing it over. Bobby had draped some sort of cloth around the room to make it look a bit less bleak and less like a prison and had replaced the cot with a real bed from upstairs.

“Remember, if it's going to be me, I’ll knock three times, then two times, then three times again.” John reminded them. Dean was carefully placing the bats on the beds and then climbed into it with Sammy and the two curled around one another. 

John felt a pang in his chest and he walked back into the panic room, kneeling down in front of the boys. They looked up at him and then Dean moved, burying his face in Sammy's shoulder. 

“You two are going to be safe here.” John said softly. He could see Dean shaking and he reached out to stroke over his head. “Don’t worry buddy, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, hurt anyone.”

“...scared.” Dean barely managed to get out, his entire body shaking. “He's...not good and he...hurt me and...”

“I know, I know Deano.” John murmured, hand still moving over his head. “I’m sorry that he did that to you and trust me, he’s never going to do anything like that ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

Dean picked up at him and slowly his shaking started to stop. John smiled at him, brushing his hair off of his forehead and leaning in to kiss it before doing the same to Sammy. 

“It's going to be okay boys.” he promised them. “It's going to be okay.”

Dean nodded at him and managed a small shaky smile as he relaxed into the bed. 

“Daddy.” Sammy whispered, almost immediately getting his attention. Sammy still didn’t speak that much so when he did, John tried to pay as close attention as he could. 

“Yeah kiddo?” John asked. 

Sammy reached out with one hand to gently touch the bat. “Head.” he told him. “Aim.”

Aim for the head, that was his psychic sons advice to him. 

John nodded, smiling at him once more. “I will,” he said. 

Sammy nodded once more and then turned back to Dean, curling around his brother. 

Feeling just a bit more relieved and at ease at the whole situation. He stroked over their heads one more time and then stood up, glancing at Mary who had been watching the entire thing from the doorway. Bobby had went back upstairs and it was just the four of them for the moment. 

“I’ll be back later to check on you guys if nothing happens soon.” John told her as he walked away from the boys to leave. “Just...be on your toes.”

Mary nodded, a thoughtful look on her face as she stared at him. He crossed over the doorway but didn’t move away completely just yet, not wanting to leave them. She reached for the metal door but didn’t close it yet. 

“Mary, listen, I appreciate-” whatever he was about to say was cut off, whatever he was about to say isn't important anymore, whatever he was about to say was swept from his mind and made everything a blank. 

Because at that moment…

At that moment…

Mary leaned forward…

And pressed her lips to his. 

Not giving him a single moment to realize what was happening. 

Not giving him enough time to really react. 

Not giving him even a moment to understand what was happening or what he was supposed to do.

Before she leaned away from him and closed the metal door between them, leaving him alone in the darkened hallway barely understanding what had happened and feeling as if his entire body was going to burst and a fire alight in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 231/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	34. Chapter 34

John walked back upstairs in a daze, eyes glazed over and lips parted as his mind refused to work, making his body go on autopilot to get where he needed to be. 

His mind tried to remember every last bit of it, tried to remember the exact feeling of Mary's lips on his, how it felt, how she moved her lips against his. His tongue flickered out to try to gather a hint of her taste, a sinking feeling of disappointment when he realized that there was nothing there. 

There wasn’t even anything to remember it, it had been so fast and so quick that he couldn’t remember a single thing other than how it made him feel. That he could remember and feel in great clarity. 

But most of all...he could feel and remember how right it felt. How good it made him feel despite the quickness. 

And how he wanted more. 

“John? John!”

John blinked and finally his vision cleared for him to see and realize what was happening again. He turned his head to look at Bobby who looked annoyed, amused, and a bit concerned, obviously having been calling him for a few moments now. 

“I’ve been saying your name over and over. The hell happened down there?” Bobby asked him, putting the gun he had been polishing to the side. 

John was sitting on the couch he slowly realized, the same couch that he had been sleeping on and Mary had been coming to more often than not. 

“Mary kissed me.” John said quietly, leaning back into the couch as his mind desperately tried to remember all the smallest details there were. 

He could almost feel Bobby's judging gaze on him. “I said she kissed me, I didn’t kiss her.” he told him, a bit annoyed. “She leaned in and she kissed me and she ended it before I could even do anything. Closed the door in my face, literally.”

He could hear Bobby gave a low chuckle at that but still didn’t look at the man. “Is it a good thing or a bad thing?” he asked. 

“Well you can’t blame her for realizing all those things she's been keeping pent up.” Bobby pointed out. “She's in her twenties, hormones are long past awakened and I doubt they were being attended to. She's in a safe position, one where she feels like she has some power,” he nodded at the bat that was inches away from John. “So everything else she’s repressed is coming out too.”

“And she's focusing them on me.” John said, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Well it's between you and me, and I know I’m a catch but you’re just marginally better.” Bobby told him. “In that you’re closer to her age.”

John rolled his eyes and looked at Bobby then. “What the hell do I do now?”

“You let her set the pace, you’re a good man for her to practice.” Bobby told him. “You ain’t the type to push her into something she doesn't want and she’s coming into herself, in more ways than one. She needs someone that’ll look out for her and make sure she doesn’t do the wrong things.”

“So I’m a practice dummy?” John asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes.” Bobby said with a nod. He sighed and took his hat off to run his fingers through his thinning hair. “John I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what you’re supposed to do here. You’re compromised, heavily. She’s naive, but she wants to know more. It's a complicated situation. My best advice? Let her set the pace.”

“And if she kisses me again?” John asked. “What the hell do I do then?”

“You trying to get me to teach you how to kiss?” Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He moved his head to dodge the pillow that John threw at him. 

“Bobby be serious.” John said, standing up to retrieve the pillow. “I need advice.”

“I know, it's just funny to see your overreactions.” Bobby said, getting up to go over to the desk. “My advice? Let her lead the pace but take control too, I remember being a teen and how hard it was to control myself at times and that’s where she is right now. Let her try and let her experience but be the guiding hand that she needs.”

Whatever they were about to say cut off when a sudden rain of bullets shot through the house, making the both of them hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 236/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	35. Chapter 35

John swore as he threw himself at the ground, gritting his teeth as bullets flew over them. He chanced a glance at Bobby who looked just as annoyed but unharmed. 

Moving on his stomach John wormed across the floor until he reached his gun that had fallen to the ground, he eyed the wire covered bat for a moment but then decided on just sticking to the gun for the time being. 

Finally the shootout stopped and the silence was deafening. John shook his head to clear the ringing that was hitting his ears from the gunshots and tried to focus. 

There was more than just Kubrick, there had to be. There were too many bullets shot for that to be just one person and that meant, the more people that had to get hurt. 

More unnecessary hunters brought to something that they didn’t understand. 

Bobby and him shared a look and nodded, Bobby would hold the fort outside from the porch, John would cover him and make sure that no one entered the house. 

John gritted his teeth, trying to keep his senses piqued. It was only because of that that he saw a hint of something rolling on the ground and John pushed at Bobby to get out of the way, throwing himself to the side. 

A flash of bright light suddenly filled the room and despite how tightly John closed his eyes it still blinded him to a degree. He felt someone grab him and throw him hard enough against the wall that he felt himself let go of the gun. 

His vision was still swimming so when something hit the side of his head, not enough to draw blood but enough to throw him off, he was dropped to the ground, and he desperately tried to get back to himself. 

He forced his eyes to open, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head. He squinted and forced himself to be able to see, pushing past the light that still was blinding him.

He spotted Kubrick, the man was heading straight for the stairs that led to the panic room downstairs. John ran as fast as he could, trying to grab at the man and wrench him away, despite not having a weapon. 

Kubrick whirled around and grabbed at John as well, kicking his legs out and throwing him to the side. There was a sharp pain in his leg that John wasn’t sure if he had been shot or stabbed but it wasn’t important.

John held back a shout as he fell to the ground, feeling his leg throbbed but thankfully it didn’t seem that it was broken. He scrambled back, hand on the ground as he moved and he felt a hint of a handle. His hand snapped out and grabbed at it, hoping that it was what he thought it was. 

He moved forward, rushing as fast as he could, bringing it up. Not thinking about anything else, choosing not to think about any other possibility.

Aim for the head Sammy had told him. Aim for the head. 

So he did. Swinging the bat that Mary had made for him and he wasn’t going to deny it, he felt a deep satisfying feeling when he felt the bat hit him against the side of his head. 

Kubrick immediately fell to the ground, bits of flesh and blood sticking to the wire of the bat. John gritted his teeth and brought the bat up again, bringing it down. Over and over onto Kubrick's head, not caring anymore. Just moving as fast as he could, hitting his head again and again. 

All he could think about was the fear in Dean's eyes when he had seen Kubrick. All he could think about was how afraid he had been for Sammy. All he could think about was Mary who had been ready to kill the man herself for the kids. 

All he could think about was the look in Kubrick's eyes when he looked at the boys and he started to bring the bat down harder.

A hand grabbed at his arm and squeezed to get his attention. John whirled around, aiming the bat at the person as well. 

Bobby jumped away from it, the tip of the bat just barely brushing past him. “For fucks sake John it's me!” he all but snarled at the other man. 

Breathing heavily John stared at the other man, slowly realizing that it was Bobby and he marginally loosened his grip on the bat. He whirled back around to make sure that Kubrick wasn’t going to get up anytime soon. 

And he really wasn’t. Not with his head opened and brain splattered around him. 

Despite it John tightened his grip on the bat, breathing out through his nose. 

“I need to check on the kids.” he said curtly, turning to go downstairs. 

Bobby reached for him and dragged him back. “John, listen. I didn’t get all of them.” 

John stopped, slowly turning around. “What?”

“Kubrick apparently had a lot of friends, more than we thought.” Bobby told him. “They’ll be back, and they’re being more of them.”

John closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth. “So what do we do?”

Bobby looked reluctant but continued. “I think you guys are going to have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 242/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	36. Chapter 36

They talked about it for a few more minutes, trying to figure out the best thing for them to do. John wasn’t sure about moving or leaving but Bobby also had a point. If they moved they’d have more chances to get away, and more importantly, be in a semi more public eye. 

“Worst comes to worst, we can use the law.” Bobby said as he threw a cover over Kendricks body to hide it from the boys view. “Arrest them and put them away.”

“Let's try to stay away from police, I don’t want that much attention on us.” John said from the kitchen where he was trying to wash his hands. He looked at them for a moment, seeing the spots of blood that clung stubbornly to his skin and grabbed the soap once more. 

He heard Bobby walk into the kitchen and felt his eyes on him, something he ignored as he rubbed at his skin. 

“What?” he finally asked, a bit gruffly, still not looking at him. 

“You were a bit...vicious back there.” Bobby said, obviously choosing his words carefully. “You didn’t even know it was me when I tried to get your attention.”

“Well apparently Kubrick was one of the customers of Deans biological dad.” John said, tossing the paper towel to the side. “Kid was scared out of his wits, I wasn’t about to hold back or let him near the boys.”

Bobby was quiet for a moment, turning to look at the body that used to be Kubrick. “He had it coming then.” he said, shaking his head. “What a mess.”

“Yeah.” John said running his fingers through his hair. “Alright, I gotta check on everyone and then we’ll start packing. What are you going to do?”

“Get rid of it before anyone comes up.” Bobby said. “Other than that, I’m not leaving. This is my house and I’ll be damned if I leave it and let those hunters ransack it. I’ll hold the fort down.”

“You sure you’ll be safe?” John asked a bit dubious as he went into the cabinet under the sink and pulled out gasoline to hand to Bobby. “You don’t want to leave?”

“It’ll be easier for me to stay here, I got my traps around here.” Bobby said, patting the doorway of the kitchen. “This way I won’t worry about the kids getting caught in one of them and you’d damn well better be contacting me every night.”

John shook his head and looked over his hands once more, making sure all the blood was off. “Alright, if you say so.” he said. “How much time do you need up here?”

“Ten minutes, give or take.” Bobby told him. “Now get, check on those boys and your girl. I’ll get things right up here.”

John nodded, ignoring the part of Mary being his girl, and walked downstairs, suddenly more nervous than before. 

Facing Kubrick was relatively easy, he knew he had to kill the man and that was something that was easy, as bad as that was. He knew what to expect and he had a reason to fight for. 

But this? Going back down to the panic room where the boys and, especially, Mary were? After she had kissed him? What could he even do after that? Should he bring it up and ask her about it? What if she tried to kiss him in front of the boys? What could that bring about?

Swallowing hard, and semi wishing that he could be upstairs burning the body instead, he reached out and knocked three times, waited a moment, knocked twice, and then three more times. It took a moment, a heartbeat, but the door creaked open and Mary's face peered out to glance at him. 

John felt his heart skipped a beat when he saw her but he nodded at her, making her open the door completely and step to the side. He was about to speak when he saw the blood covering her hands. 

“What happened?” he immediately asked, everything else that he was feeling thrown out the window. Without waiting for an answer he looked around, feeling his stomach drop when he saw the boys on the mattress. Sammy was holding what looked like ripped sheets to his nose and Dean was trying to wash the blood away from his face with a wet cloth. 

“Daddy.” Dean said, relief clear as anything in his voice as John crossed over to him. He didn’t move away from Sammy but reached for him with one hand. John reached out to hold onto Deans hand before he gently reached for Sammy. 

“Sammy, what happened?” he asked, his voice softening. He pulled the cloth away enough to see that it had been a nose bleed, a bad one, but at the very least it helped to soothe the anxiety that had been growing inside of him. 

“Sammy wanted to see the future.” Dean told him, leaning into his side. “So he tried to and he tried really hard but he couldn’t and then this happened and we’re trying to stop it.”

“You’re doing good, really good.” John assured him. Mary sat down on the bed with them behind Sammy and gently brought him forward, tilting his head down. 

Sammy let them move him, coughing softly and bringing the cloth away from his nose as the blood started to slow down. Dean reached forward again and gently wiped the blood off of his skin. 

“Sammy, you okay?” John asked him, keeping his voice soft. Sammy nodded and looked up at him. “Good.”

John reached out to stroke Sammy's hair back, it was getting a bit shaggy so they might have to cut it soon, and let out a small relieved sigh, feeling himself start to calm down once more. 

“The hunter is...gone.” John told them, getting their attention immediately. “But we’re going to have to leave for now, just to make sure that everything is okay. You boys okay with that?”

They didn’t really have the choice but he wanted to give them the impression that they did and hope that they didn’t argue. He watched with bated breath as the boys looked at one another but ultimately they turned back to him and nodded. 

“Okay.” Dean said, speaking for them as wiped at Sammy's nose once more. “When?”

“As soon as we can.” John told them. “So once we’re done here, let's go upstairs, pack, and we’ll go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 248/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	37. Chapter 37

It was surprisingly easy to get back onto the road. In terms of possessions they didn’t have that much and whatever they did, fit well into the trunk of the impala above the weapons. 

The boys said their goodbyes to Bobby who looked a bit upset at them leaving but nodded, hugging them both. Mary did the same, speaking to him slowly and he smiled at her, hugging her as well. 

John nodded at him, tried to convey his thanks and his gratitude, everything he could feel towards the old hunter but couldn’t really say out loud, neither one of them really had to say anything, it was already known. 

So the boys were set up in the backseat; blankets, water, books, and snacks, and Mary was in the passenger seat. It was nice to get driving again, therapeutic and almost family luke and John relished in the feeling. 

Rock music was playing on the radio and Mary was looking out the window in fascination. She wore his sunglasses once more, something she really seemed to enjoy, and more often than not she would bring the window down and lean out to feel the wind in her hair and on her face. 

He kept glancing in the rearview mirror, wanting and needing to make sure that the boys were okay. So far there weren’t that many people on the road so he was certain that Sammy wasn’t going to be overwhelmed, it was about when they were going to have to stop and eat that he was worried about. 

Kids were still kids and when he slowed down on the road and the golden arches of McDonalds were visible he could see them perk up and press closer to the window. They didn’t say anything but even from the driver's seat he could see a bit of hope in their eyes. 

Wordlessly he drove into the drive thru, and watched them perk up. Even Mary looked in interest, looking over the sunglasses with a smile. 

He ordered the two a happy meal and him and Mary a normal meal. He didn’t like eating in the impala but seeing how full the McDonalds was inside it would be better for Sammy to stay in the car for now.

As with all kids the boys ignored the meal for a moment to pull out their toys, staring at it for a few moments as they tried to figure it out. It was action figures of some cartoons that they seemed to watch at Bobbys and the smile on their faces was worth more than anything else. 

“Boys eat, it won’t be good cold.” John had to remind them when they were too focused on the toys. Obediently they started to eat, pleased and holding onto their toys. 

Shaking his head in amusement he turned back to his own food, opening the bag. He glanced at Mary and saw her staring at the boys, head tilted and not eating. 

“Mary?” he prodded, reaching out to lightly touch her arm. “Do you want something else?”

Mary shook her head and slowly turned away, glancing at the boys move more before she did. 

John glanced back as well, trying to figure out what she was looking at. He looked over the boys and everything else but couldn’t understand what she wanted. 

Dean and Sammy shared a look and then Dean leaned forward, tapping Mary on the shoulder. When she looked at him he offered her his action figure. 

Mary hesitated, he saw her hesitate, but ultimately she shook her head, pushing it back at Dean with a small smile. Dean didn’t look convinced but sat back down, reaching for his fries and eating them slowly. 

John felt a pang at that. He knew that she was still quite childlike, she had seen the McDonalds toy and wanted it too, something she had been denied before. The bite of hamburger he had taken stuck in his throat as he tried to swallow, not feeling hungry anymore. 

He watched her play with the wrapper around her food, side glancing at him when she realized that he was looking at her. She raised her burger questioningly, pacified when he took another bite of his own. 

Maybe it was inconsequential but at the same time, it made him feel both guilty and ill. Guilty in that she didn’t have it and he hadn’t realized that she had wanted something like that. Ill because of the feelings and emotions he was trying to push down that he felt towards her. 

“I’ll get you one like that next time.” he told her softly, watching her look at him once more. “I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

Mary blinked but then smiled at him, chewing on a french fry. She reached for his free hand and squeezed it, holding onto it. “Its okay.” she told him. 

John shook his head and didn’t let go of her hand, holding onto her as well. “Its not, just...you gotta tell me, okay? If you want something, tell me and I’ll try my best to get it.”

Mary hesitated but then nodded, smiling once more at him. Her eyes slid down to his lips for a moment and she bit down on her own. 

John's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. “Except that.” he said in a rushed whisper, glancing at the boys and feeling a bit rush when he saw them staring at him. 

Mary looked confused and if he was going to be honest, a bit annoyed. “Why?”

He hesitated and glanced at the boys once more. “We’ll talk later.” he promised her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 254/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	38. Chapter 38

They drove until they reached a motel that seemed to be nice enough. John went into to get them a room, eyeing the office to make sure that everything was clean and got them two queens. 

Bringing the boys into the room he relaxed a bit more when they started to explore the room a bit more curiously, poking and prodding everything. He put their bags on the ground and watched with a smile. 

When he felt someone tug at his arm he looked back at Mary who was staring at him, his sunglasses on top of her head. “Need to talk.” she told him firmly, not giving him any room to argue. 

Feeling oddly nervous and his heart started to beat faster in his chest, John nodded, looking at the boys again. 

“Boys.” he said softly, immediately getting their attention. “Mary and I are going to talk outside, please don’t leave the room.”

The boys shared a look, John was sure that he didn’t imagine the almost hopeful look on their faces, and then nodded, just staring at him. 

Swallowing hard John left the room, Mary following him. There was no one else around them, their room was around the corner from the office and main road so it gave them a semblance of privacy. 

Sighing heavily and trying to keep his wits about him, he turned to face Mary who was staring at him with an unreadable expression. “Okay, Mary.” he started, already not sure how to continue. 

Mary crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He stared at her helplessly, taking in his sunglasses on top of her head, that she was wearing one of his jackets and it was almost hanging on her. They needed to go shopping for clothes that would fit her, and get things for the boys too a corner of his mind noted. 

He swallowed once more, deciding to just treat it like a bandage, rip it off hard and fast, get it over with. 

“Back at Bobbys, you kissed me.” he said softly. He watched a small blush appear on her face but she nodded at that, not yet moving. “Why?”

“Wanted to.” Mary told him. “Wanted to for...a while. But you kept running away.” she shrugged. “Can’t run there.”

“But why did you do it?” John pressed, wanting to hear her answer. 

“I like you.” Mary told him, either oblivious or uncaring how it made his own face heat up. “You’re nice, you’re soft, you’re protecting. You help me and I like you.”

“I’m the only adult you know, other than Bobby.” John pointed out. “Mary I think you’re just...fixating on me. Focusing on me because you don’t know anyone else.”

Mary shook her head. “There were...others.” she told him, face scrunching as she tried to remember. “Humans. From before and...I knew them. But I didn’t like them.”

“Who were they?” John asked, his voice soft. 

Mary shrugged. “Hunters? People? I don’t know.” she said. “But one took me away for a few days, managed to. The vampires killed him but...I didn’t like him. But I like you.”

That was something for them to talk about another day, if she would be willing he wanted to know what the vampires did to her so he would know if he had to avoid doing something. 

“Mary...” he trailed off, not sure how to say it.

Mary turned to lean against the wall, staring at him. “Do you...not want to kiss me because you don’t like me?” she asked. 

John immediately shook his head. “I like you.” he told her. “I like you a lot.”

Mary grinned at that, pushing off of the wall and moving towards him.

John took a step back, holding out his hand to stop her in place. “No, that doesn’t mean that we can do anything.”

Her smile fell and she crossed her arms again. “Why not?” she demanded, voice wavering now. 

John rubbed at his face with both hands, feeling them shake. “Because...I’ll be taking advantage of you.” he whispered. When he dared to bring his hands down to look at her, she looked confused. “Because...it's not right.”

Mary tilted her head to the side. “I don’t understand.”

John let out a deep breath. “What the vampire did to you, to hurt you, to use you.” he said slowly, watching her bring her shoulders up slightly, protectively. “I feel like...I’m doing the same thing. I’m using you, I’m hurting you, even if you don’t know it.”

“But...you’re not.” Mary said, confusion lining her voice slightly. “You’re not hurting me, you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Never, and I don’t want to hurt you.” John assured her immediately. “It's the last thing I want to do, I just...I feel that if I try to kiss you, or do anything else like that, I’m hurting you and you don’t know it.”

Mary stared at him, he hoped that he had gotten through to her, hoping that she understood what he was saying. 

“Mary?” John asked softly. “Do you...do you get it?”

Mary nodded, still not saying anything as she watched him. Slowly she moved towards him and he fought the urge to step back away from her. 

“I understand.” she told him, her voice just as soft. She reached for his hand, holding it loosely enough that he could pull back. He didn’t, curling his fingers around hers. 

“Do you?” he whispered, not even daring to blink. 

Mary nodded once more, close enough that he could see a small hint of freckles on her cheeks. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” he said quietly, his voice cracking slightly. 

“You won’t.” she whispered back to him, squeezing his fingers with hers. 

He didn’t even dare breathe too loud, eyes watering slightly as he refused to blink, not wanting to waste a single moment, wanting to remember every single last detail of her. 

“Mary.” her name was like a breath of air passing his lips, a prayer for something he didn’t dare name or think. 

Mary was the one that moved the rest of the way, holding onto his hand. She leaned in closer to him, he could feel the heal coming off of her in waves. Could almost feel her heart beating just as fast as his. 

Mary was the one who crossed the distance and, like before at Bobbys, she was the one that pressed her lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 255/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	39. Chapter 39

For a moment John didn’t even dare to breathe, didn’t dare to move, didn’t dare to do anything that would break or interrupt Mary kissing him. 

When he felt Marys hand grip tighter at his own he snapped back to life and squeezed back, entwining their fingers together properly. His other free hand came up and after a moment's hesitation, he reached up and gently cupped her cheek. 

He could feel Mary relax into his touch and she moved closer to him. His thumb gently stroked over her cheek and he tilted his head to the side to give a better angle for the kiss. 

After what seemed like an eternity John opened his eyes and pulled away, hand still on her cheek and holding onto her. Mary opened her eyes as well and she smiled at him, lips slightly swollen from the kiss. 

Swallowing hard, John stroked over her cheek once more, letting his hand move to the back of her back and just lightly caress her skin. 

“You okay?” he asked in a whisper, wanting to make sure. 

When Mary nodded he felt a knot in his chest release and he smiled back at her. Mary couldn’t help a grin at that, playing with his fingers slightly as she lightly tugged him back to her. 

John let himself be moved closer to her, unable to keep from smiling himself. He leaned in to press their foreheads together, hand letting go of her hand to place on her waist instead. 

Mary copied him, letting her free hand going to his waist and just keeping it there. She stared him in the eyes and smiled once more, half nuzzling at him. 

He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to kiss her and touch her and just hold her, just like this. Maybe closer, he wasn’t sure. 

“Again?” Mary asked, her voice soft. John looked up at her and nodded, this time leaning in to kiss her. One arm moved around her waist and after a moment's hesitation he pulled her in a bit closer to him. His other hand came back up to cup her cheek tenderly. 

Mary's arms dropped and for a heart stopping moment John thought he had gone too far and was about to pull back when her arms came up instead to grip at his shoulders, pushing herself more against him. 

John stumbled back a bit at the sudden force and felt his back hit the wall of the motel room but he held onto her. At the first hint of tongue, however, he did pull back even if it made his head hit the wall. 

“I think that’s far enough for today.” he said, watching her surprised and slightly dissatisfied look. “We have to put a limit on how far we can go.”

Mary let out a small irritated sigh but nodded, not pulling away just yet. “Warm.” she told him with a slow smile. 

“Yeah it is.” he said with a smile of his own. It was warm. It was warm and overpowering and completely encompassing, he never wanted to feel anything else other than this ever again. 

He felt like a teenager again, kissing under the bleachers away from the teachers and trying not to get caught; he felt that same giddy feeling that he had all those years ago. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” he whispered to her once more, wanting, needing her to understand that. 

Mary nodded, leaning in closer to him once more. She didn’t try to kiss him again, thankfully because he wasn’t sure of how much restraint he’d have to not kiss her back, but pressed their foreheads together, just breathing in deeply. 

“I know.” Mary whispered to him, just holding onto him. Her eyes were open and wide as she stared at him, vulnerable and yet filled with wisdom that outlined her years. “I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 257/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	40. Chapter 40

Dean tried to be sneaky when he peeked out the corner of the window, eyes widening when he saw what was happening. He slid back down onto the ground and turned to look at Sammy. “You were right.” he whispered in a hush. 

Sammy just nodded, sitting on their bed with a pillow clutched to his chest. He gave Dean a small smile at that and Dean grinned back, getting to his feet and climbing back onto the bed. Immediately Sammy moved to curl into him instead, pillow abandoned. 

Dean tucked Sammy under his chin and held onto him, unable to keep from smiling. “They’re kissing outside.” he told him, nuzzling at Sammy. “And you saw it happen, you knew that it was gonna happen.”

Sammy nodded once more, hands curling into Deans shirt tightly. He had a small smile on his face but it soon faded, making him bury his face in Deans chest. 

“I know, it means that everything else you saw is gonna happen too.” Dean murmured, rubbing at Sammy's back. “But maybe it won’t, maybe it won’t happen.”

Sammy just shook his head. “Always.” he mumbled. Meaning that it always happened, whatever he saw, would happen. 

Dean hesitated before he shook his head too. “No.” he said firmly. “I’m gonna make sure that it doesn’t happen Sammy, no matter what, nothing bad is going to happen because I’m here.”

He felt Sammy sigh but otherwise he didn’t argue, which Dean was thankful for. Despite what he said, his voice had quivered towards the end and broke slightly at the words. 

He meant them, he was going to make sure that nothing happened and he was going to protect everyone. He had to! Because if he didn’t...because if Sammy was right, like everything else that he had been right about, then…

He didn’t want to think about it. 

He looked up when the door opened, and daddy and mo-Mary, he corrected himself, she wasn’t mom just yet, there was still a bit more that had to happen. But they came back in and they were holding hands. 

Their lips and cheeks were red too he noted and Dean bit back a smile as he held Sammy closer to him. He could feel Sammy was doing the same and Dean bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. 

Daddy cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Boys.” he said, voice trying and failing to be a bit stern. “What did you do here?”

“Nothing.” Dean fibbed, shifting slightly in place. He knew that daddy wasn’t going to do anything to him or to Sammy if he lied about this, he only got mad when Dean had tried to lie about not getting hurt and even then it wasn’t a bad mad, it was a good mad. But it still felt bad about lying to him, felt like something was going to happen. 

He knew that daddy wasn’t like the other man, he was nothing like him and he’d never hurt him or touch him like the other man did. But he still a bit afraid of lying to him, regardless of what it was. 

Daddy didn’t look like he believed him but he didn’t say anything, Dean relaxed a bit and held onto Sammy a bit more. He couldn’t help but bury his face in Sammys hair and breathed out slowly. 

Sammy was going to see something else and therefore what he had already seen wasn’t going to happen. 

It couldn’t happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 262/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	41. Chapter 41

The plan had been for John to sleep either on the couch, if the motel came with it, or on the floor with the hope that it was carpeted. Worst comes to worst and the front didn’t have a cot that he could borrow either, he’d slept on worse things. He had slept in the jungles of Vietnam and in the car, he could sleep anywhere he needed to. 

That being said, neither boys nor Mary was letting him go anywhere near that possibility. The boys had in fact laid down on the ground with him when he had protested and he had to give in at that point. 

And the end result was something he simultaneously wanted and hated. The boys were going to sleep together in one bed. 

He and Mary were going to sleep in the other one. 

They had done that before, they had slept in the same bed before. Slept together just inches apart, and at those times he usually woke up with Mary curled in close against him. 

But it was different now. They had crossed a line that they couldn’t go back from and now, sleeping in the same bed?

It had different connotations now. 

Mary didn’t look impressed with his mental anguish, just laying on the bed and staring at him with a slightly amused look on her face. Her hair was a bit wet from the shower she had taken, she had taken one of his shirts to sleep in and it was slightly falling to the side and showing one shoulder. 

John sat down on the edge of the bed, glancing at the boys. They were curled up on the other bed, a book on Deans knees that he had been quietly reading to the both of them, and sighed. 

“I can sleep anywhere else.” he repeated, feeling a bit chastised when Mary rolled her eyes, sliding down onto the bed a bit more, the shirt hiking up. He firmly kept his gaze on her eyes and face. 

“No.” she said simply, stretching a bit on the bed. “Same bed, it's fine.”

Shaking his head John went to the boys and carefully took the book from them, putting it on the nightstand. He covered them with a blanket, running his fingers through their hair for a moment before he went to turn the light off. 

It was so not fine, he couldn’t help but think, but John didn’t say that. He just slowly breathed out through his nose, the boys were looking at them now, he could feel that, and slowly laid down on the bed as well, feeling a bit ridgid. 

Mary scooted closer to him, reaching for his arm and curling around him, nuzzling slightly. Counting off in his head John forced himself to relax and turned to face her as well. 

Mary was smiling at him and that helped to loosen the knot in his chest. 

“Relax.” she repeated, grabbing and dragging a pillow over to put her head on it. 

“Trying.” John told her, smiling as well. He turned onto his side enough to look at her, just watching her quietly. 

Mary stared back at him, blinking slowly. She reached for his hand and entwined their fingers together, holding onto him tightly. John did the same, rubbing his thumb over her hand. 

“See? Okay.” Mary told him quietly. The both of them could hear Dean whispering something to Sammy, Sammy was talking back in his own way. 

“Yeah. Okay.” John agreed, nodding despite knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see. “Its okay, its okay, okay.”

He could hear and feel Mary laugh in a breath and she moved a bit closer to him. She kept moving until their faces were inches apart and she was still moving. 

John moved his head away. “The boys are right there.” he whispered, heart racing in his chest. 

Mary half glanced at the boys and then back at him. “They can’t know?” she asked. 

He didn’t want to give them the wrong impression, Dean, and most likely Sammy, still wanted to look at Mary and think of her as their mom, and he didn’t want them to have the wrong idea. 

“They might not understand.” John whispered back, glancing at them and happy that they seemed to be asleep already. Or were really good at faking it. 

“Nothing to understand.” Mary whispered, leaning in towards him once more. “We like each other, we can kiss.”

“But the boys might see it differently.” John told her. “I just don’t want them to get hurt.”

“I don’t want them hurt either.” Mary siad, nodding. “I care about them. I won’t hurt them. They won’t get hurt from this.”

John swallowed hard, every argument he had was rapidly disappearing. He didn’t want the boys to get hurt from this but at the same time...this wasn’t a one time fling or a one night stand. He didn’t want Mary to leave, and while he wasn’t going to say anything to her he had a feeling that she had no desire to leave any of them either. 

Breathing out hard he nodded and leaned in once more, letting Mary move the rest of the way to press their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 263/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Implications of rape.

Mary was the first to wake up in the morning, and the first thing she saw was John. She stared at him for a few moments and smiled, moving a bit closer to him.

This was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to her. Everything was perfect and she never wanted it to change. 

The kids were so good too. The both of them kinda reminded her of when she had been younger. But maybe a bit in the beginning of when she had been with the vampires. Hurt and bruised and a little touch ruined but still so hopeful. 

The vampires certainly drained her of hope and life but here she was. Still alive, the vampires dead, and surrounded by people that liked her. 

Especially John. 

She smiled and sighed softly, she wanted to reach out and touch his face but he was a hunter and he'd never hurt her but at the same time nothing good happened when you startled a hunter. 

So she just stared at him, eyes following every last bit. She followed the lines on his face and the hint of dimples. His hair was too short to fall into his face but it was pressed a bit not so neatly against his head. There was a light stubble on his face and she liked it, liked how it felt against her cheeks when they kissed. 

And the kissing. She really liked the kissing. 

The kissing and when he touched her. Touched her face and her neck. He even touched her arm and shoulder and she loved it. Loved feeling his skin against hers, loved feeling the warmth and the pure safety she felt when she was with him. 

He definitely was a lot softer than the vampires. 

She made a face at those memories which she firmly tried to push away. She knew hunters thought that vampires didn't care or want to have anything else other than blood. 

She knew that firsthand how wrong that was. 

She had always been used as a blood bag since day one. 

But once she got old enough, they started to use her body in other ways too. And they were never gentle with it. 

Sometimes they did the same when a passing coven joined them for the night. Sometimes when they sent her out to find a man to bring back he'd use her in the alleyway before following her. 

The act stopped hurting after a while but they used their nails and their teeth to dig into her skin and that was something she had never really managed to get used to but she did learn to ignore. 

The worst one was her fingers. She scowled at her uneven fingers, they had broken each one when she had been young and still trying to escape. Even now they sometimes hurt when she used them but she managed to ignore it most of the time. 

Sighing Mary pushed away what she was thinking, she didn't want to think of what had happened and what the vampires did to her. She wanted to focus on John and the boys. 

She couldn't help but think and wonder how John would be. She was sure that he would be soft and gentle, everything else he had done shown that. 

And she knew that he could be the opposite. She knew that he was a hunter, but he was a protective hunter. He could kill and she knew that he had killed. He had killed a hunter that wanted to hurt Sammy. Even when he was just sitting there she could see just how strong he was and what exactly he could do.

He wouldn't let it hurt like the vampires had. She was sure that she'd enjoy it with him. 

Smiling Mary curled in closer to him, closing her eyes and savoring his warmth. It was something she was looking forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 265/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	43. Chapter 43

It was the middle of the night and John found himself blearily staring at an isle of cereal for about three minutes before Mary tugged at his hand, snapping him back into focus. 

“Yes, what?” he asked, shaking his head as he tried to focus. He had done late nights and nights with no sleep before, those weren’t that hard especially on hunts. But now he was faced with shopping at WalMart at night, the only store in the area that was open 24 hours, and he was started to fade a bit. 

Mary smiled at him and tugged at his hand once more. “Cereal?” she asked, holding up a box of Lucky Charms. 

John looked it over and then reached out to grab the bigger box, the three of them loved the marshmallow that made his teeth ache. “Alright.” he agreed, tossing it into the cart. He looked at the side to make sure that Sammy and Dean were right next to him too. “See anything else you guys want?”

Sammy was pressed close to Dean, as close as he could be, one hand fisted into his shirt. He was staring at the myriad of cereals and then turned his head to press it into Dean's shoulder. 

“Lucky Charms.” Dean spoke for them with a smile. “It's really good!”

John smiled at him, resisting the urge to open one of the ready made coffees. “Good.” he said, wheeling them down the aisle. “Let me know if there’s anything else.”

It was all a part of trying to get Sammy to get used to being around a lot of people again. John had no desire to try a big crowd to see what happened so they started out small. 

Hence why they were at a WalMart in the middle of the night doing their shopping instead of the morning. There were a few stragglers scattered around with some workers, they were giving them weird looks to having two kids out at this late, but otherwise not that many people. 

Sometimes Sammy would flinch at something and burrow deeper into Deans side or even reach for John or Mary at times. Then John would just hold him tight and safe in his arms until he relaxed and then it was back to Dean. 

But so far so good, he hoped that that meant they were on the right path with Sammys powers. Most of the time they were fumbling in the dark almost with it but Sammy seemed alright.

“Okay, next on the list is canned goods.” John said, looking at the list that Mary was holding. She had written it out herself and was a bit overly proud of it. He leaned over her shoulder to look at the list and when Mary turned her head to look at him she kissed his cheek. 

Almost immediately John felt his cheeks redden at the motion but he couldn’t help but smile. He turned to look at her and she smiled at him which he returned. She leaned in to brush her lips against his and he leaned back into it for a moment before he pulled away. 

“Lets focus on shopping.” John said with a small chuckle as Mary pouted. She almost seemed like she was going to lean in again but then nodded, reaching out to take his hand in hers instead. 

John curled his fingers around hers, hating how much he loved how their hands fit together. “Alright, lets get some more food and then get out of here.” from the corner of his eye he could see Dean and Sammy follow them obediently. 

They continued to shop, rebuilding their supplies and they stopped at the clothing section to see if there was anything else they needed there. The prices were still a bit too much for his wallet but he promised the three of them that they’d swing by a goodwill to get more things for them that they could easily afford. 

But he also couldn’t help getting them each one thing that their eyes lingered on. Dean kept looking at a pair of sneakers that lit up whenever he walked so John caved and bought a pair for him and for Sammy, Mary had looked interested as well but they didn’t have one in her size. 

But he did end up getting something else for Mary, she was lingering at one of the racks holding onto a dress. It was a simple yellow dress, sfot to the touch and she kept bringing it up to her cheek and rub it against her skin. John quickly found a size for her and added it to the cart, smiling back at her when she smiled brightly at him. 

The last issue was the checkout and seeing the array of candies as well. Sighing to himself and mentally shaking his head he quickly added two large lollipops to the cart. He paused for a moment and glanced at Mary who was staring at the shelves as well. He quickly added a third for her. 

Whether the cashier had any thoughts about the whole thing, he kept it to himself as he rang up their groceries and other things. John quickly paid for everything and handed the giant lollipops to each of them. 

“Don’t eat it now.” John told them. “We’re all going to sleep when we get back to the motel, you won’t be able to sleep.”

Dean nodded and Sammy did the same, turning the lollipops stick in his hand in wonder. Smiling he handed the third one to Mary who slowly took it from him. 

“Thank you.” Mary said softly, taking his hand once more, squeezing it. 

“You’re welcome.” John said with a smile as he lead them back to the impala. He could feel Deans hand holding onto his jeans as they walked. He looked down at the boys and smiled at them, they smiled back, still holding onto their, thankfully, still wrapped candies. 

Sammy yawned and pressed more into Deans side.

“We’ll be back at the motel soon.” John said softly as he started to load everything into the trunk. “Sammy, how you doing?”

Sammy nodded, looking up at him and giving him a small smile. 

“Good.” John said reaching out to ruffle his hair. He picked the boy up and placed them into the backseat, watching with a warm heart as the both of them curled around one another. 

He got into the driver's seat and Mary got into the passenger seat. He automatically reached for her hand now as he got them back onto the road towards the motel. 

For the time being, everything was alright and he was going to savor it for as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 272/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	44. Chapter 44

The boys were asleep on the bed and John couldn’t help but smile at them, feeling all the tension in his body leave at the sight of them. 

They had a long day, once the shopping had been done they went to the motel and slept for a few hours before going back onto the road. They were in a different motel now and had even gotten the chance to go through town. It was cold and therefore not that many people out so it was perfect for Sammy for the time being. 

They’d try a slightly more public place tomorrow, Sammy seemed to be okay with it, and John hoped that it meant that he was slowly getting more control over himself and even if it was a psychic thing, John couldn’t help but feel proud. 

He loved the kid, he loved both of them so much. Sammy and Dean had carved their way into his heart into a place that he didn’t know existed, a part of him that was a father apparently, and he cherished every last moment and fact about the two of them. 

Movement got his attention and Mary pressed into his back, most likely on her tiptoes to look at the boys over his shoulder. He reached for her hand and smiled when she easily handed it to him as well. 

“Just thinking about the boys.” he said softly, not wanting to wake them up. He felt Mary nod more than he saw it and after a moment he felt her let go of his hand, tugging it once, and then he heard her laying down on the bed. 

Turning around he froze, immediately feeling a rush of warmth shot through his body. 

Mary was laying down on the bed, on top of the covers, wearing the yellow dress he had bought her. It was a simple summer dress, nothing really special about it, but at the same time it was severely important. It clung to her curves, a small hint of cleavage despite not wearing a bra under it. It was hoisted up just slightly along her legs, above the knee. 

He felt simultaneously the most ridiculous he had ever felt and inflamed at the sight in front of him. 

“Mary.” he whispered, feeling his throat close up and dry out. “What are you doing?”

In answer Mary just smiled, reaching out one hand towards him and it would take a stronger man than him to ignore it and walk away. Swallowing hard he moved slowly towards her, her figure was alight in the moonlight he didn’t stop until he had one knee on the bed. 

She took his hand in hers and tugged it until he moved more onto the bed, trying not to lay on her but she took charge of that, moving so that he was laying down on the bed and she was half on top of him, his leg between hers. 

“Mary? What are you doing?” he whispered once more, not sure of where to put his hands. 

He could feel Mary hum something in an answer before she leaned in to kiss him once more, hands on his chest. 

John pressed into the kiss, not able to help himself, not really wanting to stop himself, Mary was making the first step, he just needed to make sure that it didn’t go farther. His hands finally moved to cup her cheek, his other hand stroking her hair tenderly. 

Mary shifted, moving more onto him without pulling away. Slowly and undeniably her hips rolled against his and that was what made John snap out of his trance and move away, reaching down to grip at her hips enough to pull her off and put her down onto the bed. 

Mary blinked at him in surprise before she pouted, raising an eyebrow at his actions. 

“Mary.” John said, trying to get his breathing back under control, he shifted on the bed, crossing his leg over the other to try to hide a growing bulge. Mary's eyes went down to his lap and what he swore was a victorious smirk appeared on her face. “What are you doing?”

“More.” Mary told him. “More kissing, more touching, more.”

“No, no more.” John told her, trying to remain strong and firm, he had to be the one to be strong here. “Just kissing, no more touching, no more.” 

He was wavering more and more with each second that Mary stared at him like that and he took a deep breath, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Mary-” he started to say. 

“You’re not the first.” Mary told him, matter-of-factly and it made his heart stop. “You’re not, the vampires were.”

“The vampires...touched you?” John asked, making sure that his voice was steady. 

Mary nodded and he wanted to throw up. “A lot.” she told him, as if she was telling him that the sky was blue. 

“I’m sorry.” John told her, wanting to reach out and hold her but still not trusting himself. 

Mary nodded again, sitting back on the bed. “But I know, I know touching and I want you to be touching.” she told him, watching him shake slightly. “I know you and I trust you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 277/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


	45. Chapter 45

John refused to do anything with the boys in the same room as them. 

It was about the principle of everything, it just felt wrong to do any sort of thing, whatever they may do, when the boys were in the room, sleeping just inches away. 

Mary pouted but glanced at them, nodding and settling against his side once more, half on top of him and her leg between his. She nuzzled closer to him and curled up close against him.

John wrapped his arms around her and held her close as well, enjoying the feeling of her body against his as best as he could. He rubbed at her arm, tucking her under his chin. 

"You said that the vampires touched you." he said softly. He felt Mary nod at that. "How...what did they do?"

"Everything." Mary said simply, her hand coming up to his chest and slowly trailing her fingers over it. John felt his heart stop for a moment at her answer. "For a while."

"I'm sorry." John whispered, holding her closer to him. "I'm sorry."

Mary shrugged and looked up at him. "It hurt, they always made it hurt." she told him. "But you won't, it won't hurt with you."

"I never want to hurt you." John told her, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Never."

Mary was smiling at that, nuzzling against him once more. "I know." she said, a touch of happiness in her voice. "I trust you."

She kept saying that but John didn't even trust himself when it came to being with Mary in any other way. He was strong, he knew that much, but at the same time he was still a man and he still wanted to be with her. Still wanted to feel her and touch her the way she deserved to be touched. 

She’s not naive, that much he’s realized in the last few minutes as she spoke about her time with the vampires. He’s known for some time despite everything she wasn’t naive, a bit childish, a bit repressed, but not naive. 

John sighed and just tugged her closer, she wasn’t resisting, if anything she was moving so that she could press up to him as much as she could. Like she wanted to erase all the distance between them. 

He was strong, he had to remain strong. The boys were right there. 

But Mary was just as human as he was, she had desires and she wanted things as well. She knew enough about sex to know that it shouldn't hurt and she wanted to feel it and she had her sights set on him. 

But at the same time it still felt dirty, it still felt wrong whatever he was feeling towards her and it made him feel wrong. 

Was it alright for him to do anything if Mary was okay with it? What was the line that he shouldn’t cross? Did it even exist or was it something that he was supposed to put down and refuse to budge? 

God this was confusing and Mary snuggling up against him as she slowly fell asleep, his hand stroking her hair, didn’t make it any easier. 

But the boys were still here and that much was an excuse he'd use for as long as he could. He has no desire to do anything in front of them and as such he could use that to his advantage. 

He knew that they'd understand, Sammy probably had already seen something in the future about the both of them though he hadn't said anything just yet. 

But for now he had some time, time to get himself under control and time to figure himself out a bit more. 

And at this moment, he glanced down at Mary who was now asleep and couldn't help but smile at her, curling his fingers around the strands of her hair.

He wasn't sure yet of anything else, he wasn't sure where that line was but he was going to either find it or create it, for the betterment of the both of them.

Closing his eyes he leaned more into her, holding her close, and let himself drift to sleep, feeling warm and content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 292/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 102/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.


End file.
